Tonight, I am feeling weak, strength zapped from my long night with the Dragon, cat and butterfly. However, encouraging words rejuvenated me greatly. My first quarry had identified itself. All she had to do was to tell me what I could do for her through what she was willing to do for me. Through my time spent riding my chopper through space I have made many great connections that can help many types of people. As a Superfan she follows my adventures more through my; "choose your own adventure" format. With many adventures available. Tonight for her I am a dreamer. I dream of a world where I can help scribe the journeys taken, while providing healing services to those with debilitating diseases. I am a traveling healer and gatherer for the Armies of Light. I have traveled the universe of infinite possibilities since my acceptance into this world. I promise her if I can do what I did, then she can do even more. I must delve into the persona she has left here for me to interact with so I may know exactly what services she needs. I go to search the realm she built here in this hotel room. Already she has blessed me with so many possibilities. Infinite love is an appropriate name for the inspiration she gave me. The guidance she provided will carry me far through the galaxy. Riding together through space to raise the armies of light we were now forever connected with our night of self indulgence and sexual exploration.
Tonight I dream for us a sponsor. The universe of freedom to provide us with a comfortable RV trailer, film equipment, a base of operations we can afford, a months budget to hit the road in a take it to the people format as we ride around and document sustainable communities.
If I can You can………………………….infinite possibilities.
“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.” - Margaret Mead, Anthropologist
I can, because there is nothing that I can’t. I am a deifier of the odds. A survivor when I shouldn’t have. An insurmountably good, insurmountably evil, equally loving being. Possessed with unlimited potential and a deep desire for helping others. A cyborg, who can shape shift to be whatever, as needed. A Supertramp, capable of adapting to new and various surroundings in order to survive. I hide, and move from planet to planet. Gathering together those ready to change the physical realm. To initialize the intent. To say we will change the world together through peacefully taking a day to focus all day on just changing the world. In my mind you are my benefactor. The guide to dreams of bringing about an age of peace with warriors ready for battle we shall usher in the new world from the heavens of possibility. Using Truth as our shield, faith as our sword, beauty as our guide. Finance my path with loving grace and charity. Together we sail through the universe visiting all the ways you make it all work for you. On this cosmic motorcycle ride we share with one another what we each know. You help me make connections I need. I help you make connections you need. I humble my services to the rejuvenation of your entire sexuality. Whether you are seeing yourself as male of female it is possible for you to benefit.
This is our adventure.
You are like the Queen who funded Columbus. My Helen for which I sacrificed all of Troy. My friend, for whom I shall bare my soul tonight. My first Superfan. We walked along the silent path. To caste off the group of noise makers we did not belong with. We have shared a wonderful connection and walk to connect more. As it is our first meeting, and you are one of the first to have acknowledged that what I do is worthwhile, I feel humbled to the core. I’m nervous and my hands are shaky. You are a beautiful! We met at a point where two paths come together. Our villages were having a celebration to prepare for the hunt. I had been walking to a spot that I came to think. Away from the other boys who pretended to be men. I wondered by forgotten banks, fishing forgotten shallows of water. In the morning the steam coming off the river was amazing. I had been seeing sings of someone else coming to the area I was in. Foot prints, here. Tantalizing aromas there. A forgotten flower picked in absentminded love for its beauty in that moment. Lost, or left behind for the amusement of the person who found it. I dream of the beauty of such a person. Suddenly everything I dreamed of came walking down through the woods, towards the best trout fishing within three councils. Part of me wanted to be offended at the intrusion into my sanctuary. Yet the honor of having a beautiful person to share my secret dreams with, who believed in me enough to recognize what I could do. My poetic fantasizing about proving the councils wrong, about proving that we should send someone out into the surrounding lands to bring people together because of the coming dangers. We all knew. We could feel it; we didn’t even have to be told. There was something coming from the lands beyond the great water that lay far beyond our lands. I could not get the councils to see what was at stake. They would not listen to logic. So I dreamed a beauty who would be my warrior maiden. Providing me with ample supplies to begin my voyage she is my benefactor. A good steed to ride, a boat to sail the sea with, the knowledge that what I need to begin she would provide. Upon receiving that I could truly begin my epic quest. The $50,000/week of new money for our time spent. She was the woman who I chose that evening in my first night of freedom. The mark of her acceptance of what I must do to provide me safe passage bringing me the joy I needed to see the journey to the end. The first Madame to ride with me on the back of my space chopper, we travel into space un-traveled in many years. A guide who would take me all the way, like Pocahontas led Captain Smith not far from where our journey began. I would love more, but would be grateful with one blanket to keep me warm and a belief in the purpose of what I was doing. I could offer nothing but a dream. Could this woman now walking into what up until now had been my sacred dreaming hole. The spot where I came to get away because I was not like the others.
Hello; I call out. She startles at the sound of my voice in this otherwise empty place. She relaxes and say hello in return. She smiles and asks my name.
“My name is, I pause as I give this careful consideration, well I really haven’t decided yet who I am today, so you can just call me heart.
Heart? she asks with an exclamation of excitement that causes my heart to speed up. I had not known prior to saying that my name was heart she was secretly dreaming of a man with heart.
She too began to focus on the infinite possibilities that she dreamed about in this place as well. For secretly they visited each other here for years, meeting for the first time in the physical realm we walked in.
Seeing the brief glimmer of excitement over my chosen name for the day gave me great dreams of the potential in our fortuitous crossing. For the path that I was walking was one found through intuition and a need for seeking out unfound things. Your path seemed to come out of nowhere. I imagined you as a friendly deer, or a wise owl. Perhaps you would manifest as a kindred wolf spirit to heal family. The indigo butterfly dancing into my presence bringing joyful childlike wonder innocence and light just for me. A wildcat that feasted on the heart of her prey while snuggling upon my lap, capable of turning on me at a moments notice as I pet her delicate body. The not knowing what she may do next making the time around her all the more joyful because it intimated danger. The unknown lady I saw in my dreams full of infinite potential that was always out of my reach. My addiction to putting myself in harms way in order to test the limits of my life so hoped for something unknown, exciting, dangerous, lively for me to play with.
Her dress was a color I had never seen before. Taking in all manner of color with bright beadwork, only the beads had depth and color that never stopped shimmering. Obviously created with care and great expense, knowing that anything worth draping over her copper skin must be worthy of the quality of the person underneath. The material was soft. Firmly, yet loosely draping her body. A contradicting style that gave away the complexities of her deeper self.. With soft, round eyes yellow with fire in them. Like an animal caught in the headlights. Perhaps her eyes are a moon stolen from another world and placed in her for this moment. Purple haze illuminated the background of them, reminding me of the sky from where I was from.
Our trails came together at the bottom of a steep hill. At the top lay our retreat. Where spirits spend eternity traveling the meaning of life, preach the necessity of coming together in love, they whisper to us through the trees, water, sky and life that also enjoy this spot. Brought together by peaceful beings who unified our soul to stop the coming dread. For today we might swim and laugh, and simply enjoy life together. Splashing in a crystal clear pool of water at the bottom of a waterfall created from the force of water splashing down the emerald colored rocks. The waterfall fed into this great river. Above the mossy rocks was where I would go to share with you deep conversations. Tomorrow we were not guaranteed so we simply revel in the moments we have.
The hill had a sloped grade, one that would look much like an economic profit line. Where at the top of the hill if we walked up it together would lie the point where profit and cost come together in joyful unison. A place equally balanced to provide the best output, for the best price, for the best cost, for the world.
“So why do you call yourself heart?” she asked me in a coy way.
“Walk up the hill with me and I shall tell you.” I say with a confidence I was not feeling a moment before thinking of the possibilities that existed between each word we spoke.
She looks at me, with a mischievous smile. Confident in a manner could tell beauty to be ugly. Say to humility laugh at irony. Tell love to be pure and passion to be perplexing and all would obey. She rushes up the hill in a mad dash, and my visions of affection dwindle as I take my slow methodical steps up the hill.
She looks back at me, laughing wondering why I am not chasing her. I see the possibilities that she had been dreaming as she raced up that hill beginning to fade in her gorgeous eyes. The smile, full of beautiful teeth hiding sensuous nerves of feeling that made up her tongue dried the saliva.
Well aren’t you coming? She said in an exasperated way.
Yes I am, it is why I am walking up the hill, I reply.
Hand to hip, flash of hair, sparkle of cloth tempting the spirit to catch a glimpse of things covered by floating images of color and light. Things meant to be seen only in private, and only if invited. Already halfway up the hill before realizing I was not there I know what is coming.
Well do you want me to wait for you? In a exhasperated manner trying to determine why I didn’t chase her like all the other boys she knew.
“No I’m fine” I say, smiling. Not telling her that I don’t run from or to anything. And I don’t chase flashy skirts.
Perplexity covers her face. She isn’t sure what to do. Come down and walk with me, or proceed up the hill. An abundance of possibility awaits her. She comes to another choice already and must choose her new adventure now.
I calmly take a drink of my water. My canteen brings me refreshing life. I pull it from my hip and take a small drink. I notice she has no food, or water with her. So I am glad I came prepared. I wonder if she ever got stuck in a cave with nothing but a young man seeking adventure who promised to show her the way, like in another great tale by Mark Twain. Knowing her dilemma of wanting to quickly race to the top of the slope to the point of gratification she had felt so many times before. Having to deal with her dejection at my lack of excitement I want to tell her it is because of who I am I take my time up the hill, knowing she is as eager as I am to see what happens when we get there. Excited about this crossing of paths. I must be patient for us both. Rushing into enjoyment and gratification quickly getting up the hill defeats the purpose I came here for. I was this woman’s Geishan Warrior. I swore in my mind I would provide her with a man unlike any she has ever seen. I cannot allow even this infinite possible night take me from who I am, so I continue up the hill at my steady pace. For if I failed my first time out, I may never enjoy the freedom that awaits.
She joins me and begins asking me why I didn’t run up the hill with her. I think back to a joke I heard in a council gathering once. So I repeat it. “a young buffalo comes up to an old buffalo and says, hey lets run down that hill and fuck one of them calves. The old buffalo says, why don’t we walk down there and fuck em all instead.”
I do not worry about the joke being offensive because it is designed to break the ice by admitting that we are all flawed. My sage wisdom coming from many odd places I know many methods, but sometimes the blunt ones work the best. A traditional shaman I would not make. It was this lack of fitting in around the councils of the Mississippi, Illiniwek, and Kankakee that inspired my retreats to this place. Walking slowly I take the time to pay homage, and scan the grounds that I cover with my footprint. I notice branches broke in the last rain. I send a healing out to the tree. I watch insects floating around above the wet emerald grasses high on the bank. I focus my breathing to exhale slowly so as not to attract mosquitoes. I notice some fresh deer tracks. Raccoon droppings. Feathers from an unlucky bird picked up by a wildcat. You can hear more birds than I knew the names to. Singing that soul on to the next life. I simply knew their songs and thanked them for their inspiration. The sounds from the noisemakers behind us faded away.
Suddenly I can feel her anxiousness and mine go away. The peace and knowledge of what this place does for both of us is acknowledged. Our steps become synchronized as we walk in calm gratitude for the love we are sharing with the world.
She is remembering why she comes here too. To clear her soul, and mind the same as all who visit it. Only now we will do it together. Slowly. Each appreciating what is possible, and letting our minds wonder on our own paths. Coming together over and over again in agreements, building the moment when we would reach the summit to a new height.
We finally reach the top of the ridge. Our eyes meet and we simply look at each other. Take each other in. Assess what we are capable of to the other.
She has no nervousness about me, and I have no nervousness about her. I can tell her unique attributes were new to this area. In all my years I had never run across a creature like this.
We both begin to talk, and laugh at our own excited awkwardness. Not really knowing how to proceed. I calmly quite myself and focus on my job. Humbling the place of peace we both share to her wishes and desires.
The river bisects near here and we stand on the levy my people built to help calm the raging waters of the river. This is a shallow spot where a tributary we call Hadley Creek comes together. The area is shallow in spots, and deep as infinity in other spots. With sinkholes quicksand and strong currents all hiding waiting for a wrong move I worry about her safety as she comes here. There are many who would take advantage of such a person in such a place. Many pits and perils. I send an assuring calm toward her out of myself that I find in this place we shared.
The pool of shallow water where the trout like to rest as they spawn up the river to mate, taking a path unknown, following a force they cannot see, along with many others, to what is eventually their death in order to ensure the next life survives. Providing these same shallow waters for the children to play in until they can reach the ends of wherever they all go. It is this trip I want to take. To cross the mighty river into lands unknown by our kind. The people that live here now stopped traveling outside of their home lands many years ago. They stopped traveling the medicine wheel that they used only as a symbol now. Their centers their hearts were out of alignment. Therefore they couldn’t connect to the world around them anymore. They were losing their way of life and did not even see it coming. I hoped to stop it. To find new lands, new ways, new information that might help them stop the devastation that awaited us all if we did not act.
So why do you pick heart as your name today? she asks delicately. Knowing what this place provides for her is equal to me and must be taken slowly to bring enlightenment for both. For that is why we had both snuck off away from the noise into the realm of stories, and possibilities.
Our kindred nature spoke to us as we intersected in such a strange and unknown place, a place that felt close to the seed of life itself.
I want to say all these things out loud. To speak them to her in a hurried abandon to impress upon her the enormity of our world. I remain quite patiently intent upon her and her needs in this place.
“I guess I just want to get to the heart of the matter. To solve the questions about what drives us.” I respond. Mindful to avoid the real weakness that truly drove the answer. I search for an answer that inspires her to have confidence in me. One that conveys deep thought. Inside I face the truth I’ve got heart, but it doesn’t feel right. There is no medicine that is here that can cure the heart in the physical realm I live in. It is why I take my time with things. However this does not prevent me from accomplishing what needs to get done. Like the bull buffalo I take my time to ensure that I can have the energy to bring great glory when I use it. When I use it, it takes a little more out of me. However even in my physical condition I can still find infinite capacity for achieving dreams. Rest is necessary. Preparedness for long journeys is necessary. For adventures with me always carry infinite possibilities that must be pursued doggedly. Forcefully. But with great caution and mindfulness of the physical dangers within. I do not want her to fear for me though, because I am strong and know my capabilities.
What is your name? I ask it knowing she will take equal time to ponder who she really is today.
I am a dragon she says.
What is a dragon?
Excitement overtakes her as she creates the image for me. With movement, and dance she flutters like a butterfly, but stalks like a cat. She jumps around the rocks and logs nimbly and carelessly sure in her footing. She jumps around magically mesmerizing me with her energy. I smile as she tells me about being a dragon. She sings me the song of the dragon fire. She opens herself up to me her secret images of who she is. I notice a lizard scurry off into the rocks as she dances around. Over there a frog hops into the water.
Most people cannot connect like this. They are to busy to take time together. Have too many distractions and worries. They try to get many things out of a situation to fast. Not allowing, or being allowed the time to focus on a given meeting. This is why many like her are so sad inside. Why their passions do not play with their realities.
She is out of breath from all her prancing around, singing and dancing but she glows radiant reflections. Her dress is combining with the blue of the water, and the red of the sun. Casting bright hues of orange, purples, green, white, black. All glossy like a fine paint job or shiny as a reflection off the scales of the fish I had seen so many times in this pond.
I offer her a drink of my water knowing she must be thirsty.
“You have been coming here a lot lately haven’t you?” I ask with a smile and joyfulness. Knowing that you cannot get an answer to a real question from someone who hasn’t taken time to think about it her responses were gratifying. Knowing there was someone of like mind for me to share my light with.
“It shows?” she asks with a dazzle. Sparkling in the sun fully confident in the beauty she just shared. It is moments like this I am grateful for my training. The truth she just opened herself up to. I am again overcome by her presence. The excitement and fantasy that she put into the moment.
“The dragon seems like a magical being. Capable of many wonderful things” I say. “Why must such a wonderful creature such as the dragon need to seek such places of solitude? Should she not be impressing everyone with her greatness?”
The glimmer is hard to keep up. She replies
Glimmer I ask?
“As a magical being the dragon castes glimmer over people when they first meet it. Some are awed, some are frightened. Many seek to do my kind harm”, she says with openness. A pleading desperation fills her eyes that speak to the depth of her beings need for acceptance. To be understood at last. To find herself so she may find her dreams.
Suddenly out of nowhere a fish splashes out of the water. Flipping its tail and catching a glimpse of the world outside of his. I could relate intimately with the fish. Seeing myself as that fish I thought, if I jumped out of the water once, I don’t know that I would want to go back in. The same was true when swimming into the depths of the swimming hole we now stood by. Exploring worlds I could not stay in but desperately wanted to.
We both chuckle and ease back into a calm spirit after the fish splashes back into his world. Forever imprinting us with this image to hold and share, knowing that no-one in all of creation was here to enjoy that fish but us.
I really have to be getting back she says. I would love to stay for a while. Can we visit again?
Anytime, I say. Off she goes into a potential of infinity. I did not know if I would ever see her again. Sharing a moment that was unlike any other I had known. I could not wait to see her here again.
My mind raced after she left at the possible scenarios that might lead to our next meeting.