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When I first heard or read about starseeds, I thought to myself, "that sounds a lot like me." I fit much of the description of a starseed, though I can easily just be a spiritual seeker, which I very much am. I have consciously been a spiritual seeker since i was 16. I'm now 20. At first I would tell myself it doesn't matter, just be here now. Earth is where I am right now. And I love earth very much. Though I fit pretty much each description, I don't really fit the larger more obvious signs of being a starseed, which is what makes me doubt that I am. I just don't know. And though I always plan to be here now, whereever I am, I would kind of like to know for sure who I am and where I come from. I go through phases of wanting to know, and not really caring. It's when I feel really lonely or upset with society or something that I turn to questioning if I am. But sometimes it just feels like I'm trying to make myself feel better by leaving it an option that there is somewhere else I belong, where things make much more sense, when I could maybe just be strong enough to feel OK here and what goes on.

I don't have profound spiritual abilities. I can sometimes see the grayness of auras, never actual colors. Sometimes I see quick flashes of purplish white light, though there is something slow about their appearance, like a shooting star. When I was little my parents both swear that I would see a spirit of a dog who used to live in our apartment. When i was about two I would randomly get up from doing whatever I was going and yell "the doggie!" and I would chase this "imaginary" dog to the same closet every time. This happened for about a year I guess. I don't remember it though. They always called me an old soul. To me this is a strange symptom, but I read that some starseeds are prone to eating disorders, which I know I used to have an unhealthy relationship to food. I hated having any excess fat on my body, and still do.

I'm rambling, but I just want to know HOW to know.

Thank you.