I've been blessed to have witnessed miracles -touched the face of the power that rules the Universe - yet, here I sit, still a vulnerable human soul making mistakes (albeit good intentioned ones.)
I've learned so many valuable lessons and have mostly transformed myself (mostly) - but my achilles heel seems to be my children. I'm being bombarded by the need to release. I realize we don't own our children. They are simply souls we've been given the task of guiding for a specific period of time (and in some cases they may actually be more advanced than us and be the ones supplying the lessons.) I know this - yet my heart is really having a hard time letting go and watching them choose to walk down paths that can often be problematic. It's the ultimate leap of faith, I suppose. Turning the thing you love most in the world over to Spirit.
After all these years of tending to the needs of these little souls - I feel that I'm now being told to pull back and return my focus to myself - my own peace and well-being. It's hard finding that balance between letting go and allowing/and offering the valuable advice that will aid someone.
I've always known that I was meant to be a mom. Dreamed of having children when I was a child (even kept a list of names for them when I was like 10-years-old.) I mean geesh, even my name here is "Mama" 555. This is definitely a life lesson task for me. Thats for sure.
But now, watching them experiencing the "temporary insanity" of the teenage years - my peace is really being challenged. My mother lion instincts still want to kick in and roar up at danger - while my cubs run eagerly into the fray. It's hard. I'm starting to seem judgmental and controlling (because I really would like to control these things - but I can't). The old me would have really chastised myself for these mistakes - but I know they only come from love. Still, I need to protect my own peace at all costs. I could easily allow my fears for thier safety to pull me back into the drama of an unenlightened life. That would be a true shame.
Any of you parents out there - or children who've experience this from the other side- have any advice for me. I don't want to screw this up, for them or for me. I realize there are really no mistakes - only learning experiences - but I sure would like to learn as painlessly as possible. I'm eager to hear what you have to say!