THE POWER OF RESPONSIBILITY
~ Tori Hartman
I became profoundly aware of the power of responsibility in November 2011 when a business relationship ended quite unceremoniously. It dawned on me that it was over quite a while sooner, but I had pretended not to see it. The relationship had lingered way past its expiration date, but I had felt a strange sense of loyalty, so I let it go on.
It was then that I became more aware of how vital it is to take on fearless responsibility at a spiritual level for everything created in life. And the reason is simple. If you accept complete responsibility (and I mean complete responsibility) for even the yucky circumstances that come up, then you become aware of the spiritual power you have to align with spirit and steer your own ship.
I have a friend whose wife had an affair and ran off with his best-friend. Ultimately, the two got married and had a child. My friend becomes irate when someone tells him that if he wants to move on with his life he’ll have to “forgive the other person.” Now anyone can understand being angry over such circumstances, and I do not question that.
However, this idea of telling someone to forgive someone else has never made sense to me. I mean, energetically, there’s no way you can really forgive someone else’s actions unless you judge them. The truth is you have to forgive yourself for having judged them in the first place.
The profound sadness I had to deal with over loving a mother who didn't love me wasn't about forgiving her, I tried that and it never worked. It always led me to being upset over it. I had to forgive myself, not her. I found freedom when I forgave myself for not having known any better and loving someone who was so cruel to me.
And, if you actually take that stand, there is an even larger spiritual conversation taking place.
Back to my friend... what if, in taking full responsibility, my friend owned the fact that he left that marriage long before his former wife ever cheated, or his best-friend lied to him about the affair. In taking responsibility, my friend can own that he set up the situation because HE wanted out.
Now before you start getting crazy on me. Let me say this, I don’t believe he consciously sat there and said, “I’m going to create this painful situation so I can get out of this marriage.”
That’s not what I mean. What if his spirit knew that the relationship was not healing his soul?
What if he had a hidden agreement with an ancestor to do great work in this lifetime? What if who he was in that relationship would not facilitate him becoming the man he is today?
In terms of taking responsibility, the way I would frame it is this: Something in him had to grow, and while he wouldn’t have chosen those circumstances that was the quickest way for spirit to give him his new life. I later asked him a pivotal question—would he have left her? “Never,” he said with pride in his voice. “I took vows.” So the only way he could get out was if she left him. Wow! Wow!
If you’re in a place where you are struggling to understand why things have happened, you’re not alone. We’ve all been there.
To be empowered by your circumstances, step into the concept that spirit helped you create something to make you more than you are.
I realize that this only opens the discussion, and doesn’t conclude it.
So, here’s an idea: The next time something occurs in your world that is painful, drill it down to your part, no matter how challenging that may be. Not as a blame situation, but to experience the freedom and power in responsibility. Because once you realize that you created it, you remind yourself of the true power within you to create something new.
Copyright © 2012 Tori Hartman. All Rights Reserved.