Seems something has been happening to me. Physical body stuff I think. I've been so busy mutter
grumbling about the slow down in energies I didn't even notice what was going on right here in
my physical construct. I'm not certain exactly what these processes were, or how they worked,
but I think it had much to do with integrating all the aspects of self into the physicality
of the 3D body. When I got up this morning I found that I have come into possession of a whole
new self. Well, perhaps not whole new, maybe just an upgraded self.
Of course with realization comes hindsight. NOW I can look back and see all these changes taking
place. Little things that didn't mean all that much to me when they happened, but when you stack
them all up together a picture begins to emerge. First thing I noticed was that I really can't
sit and read for any amount of time. My brain simply won't focus. Goes hopping around the place
until I have to put the book down. About a month or so ago I asked my librarian to stop ordering
books for me cause I simply couldn't keep up. I have ALWAYS been an avid reader...from childhood.
Now reading simply makes me restless, unable to concentrate. Naps also seem to have lost their
appeal. BOOKS and NAPS...two of my very favourite things in the world...and now I can't seem to
enjoy them. OK, I will admit, with the naps, and I spose the books as well, I was seeking an escape
hatch from 3D. Plain and simple. For some reasons those escape hatches no longer serve their original
purpose. Escape doesn't seem possible...well, for right now at least.
It's kinda like I've been so much in mind I forgot to pay my physicality 'equal opportunity' attention.
Didn't seem to matter much though. The changes happened anyway. I'm kinda hoping that the reason I
became aware of alla this this morning is because whatever it is is finished. Well, that was kinda
dumb wasn't it? I mean if I was finished I wouldn't be sitting here at a keyboard typing a 3D blog
in a 3D world. Well, at least I don't THINK I would.
Seems for the past few weeks 'optional' mental movies have been running for my viewing pleasure. Of
course these particular mental movies don't actually GIVE me a whole lotta pleasure cause these are
those 'dark moment' kinda movies. You know, running reruns of all that crummy stuff we worked so
hard to clear and release. At first those sorta thoughts would arise and I'd 'get into them' and
explore them. Trying to figure what had been left 'undone' in the first..or fiftieth...clear and
release sessions. Finally I went and had a 'strong word' to the movie projector guy. Shut these
damn reruns off. I don't need them. They are empty. No emotion, no energy left in them, I'm
NOT watching. Then they stopped.
Next came a whole series of remembered dream fragments. Dreams that I've had along the way but
never understood. Like I knew they were dreams and I knew I had dreamed them, but they never fit
into anything that was going on in my 3D incarnational life. Like I was dreaming other folks
dreams or something. Seems I understood that without realizing it because as soon as the dream
shows started I instantly remembered that those were the dreams of other aspects of myself...the
aspects now embodied in the physical body. Like they brought their own 'home movies' in with them.
Fine...your movies, YOU watch them. YOU figure out if there's something in there we oughtta know.
Then report back.
There doesn't seem to be any 'self hierarchy' in there. Seems each aspect is pretty much on an
even basis with everybody else. Decisions come from 'group meetings'. Heck, talking to myself
takes on a whole new meaning around here. I'm a bloody crowd on the inside. I never know through
whose eyes the observer is looking. Keep yourself together is another phrase that has taken on
new meaning. Seems there comes a time when we get so aware of the embodied aspects it feels
like we become a group instead of an individual. There's a whole flock of myselfs in there and
each wants to experience something different.
Of course every experience comes with an upside. Mine turns out to be a whole new level of physical
energy. I've been out there every day gardening like a mad woman and loving every second of it. Never
once thought Geeze, a nice would be nap. Like I got an 'add on' energy source or something. I've
done more stuff and completed more stuff in the past couple of weeks than I have in ages. Seems like
whatever processes DID take place included a tidy amount of 'get up and go'. Grateful for that.
Another thing I'm deeply grateful for is that I'm finally learning how to 'drive' this multi aspect
embodied body again. For awhile there it was like I was in 'float mode' while the rest of me was
busy...ummm...becoming embodied I spose. Have no clue what actually happened. DNA upgrade? Integration
of self on some deeper level? A wild imagination...I just don't know. BUT I am beginning to learn
to get the observer 'looking' through the eyes of all the aspects at once.
It seems sometimes one particular self experiences something that is extra special to it. I have
a shower self that just LOVES standing under the flow of hot water. That self would probably
stay in there until it wrinkled away to nothing if the rest of us allowed it. But there are other
selfs who love the lotions and potions and fragrances that get applied afterward. Then there
are 'dream specialist' selves who get their greatest pleasure from those first few moments when
you go to bed. You know, when you 'beat gravity' and every part of you relaxes into itself.
Before I was just sorta bouncing from sensation to sensation, experience to experience...but now
it seems I need to 'get my ducks in line' to motivate around in this world. Like there came a
time when all the aspects 'settled in' or something. Stuck their personal movie/dream records
away somewhere and started focusing on all of us being ME instead of US.
Now I have been expecting change. Change is the only constant. However, I guess I saw myself
changing 'away' from 3D...not more INTO it. That's what it feels like though, like I have
become MORE myself IN the physical body. Like the aspects have stopped 'going home for weekends'
and taken permanent residence. Left the avatar selves 'out there' somewhere and brought the
'real deal' into the physical body.
Enlightened? I dunno. I don't FEEL especially enlightened, at least no more than I was before.
Energized is more like what happened. Like the aspects of self gathered up all the energies
that I am from everywhere across the Ds and brought it on home to the body. I did ask why. I
mean I guess I was kinda hoping my 3D consciousness would 'ascend' into one of the higher D
selves. Instead it seems to have happened exactly the other way around. The only answer I
got was that this was 'always the plan'.
Dunno know what comes next...heck when do we EVER know? I'm enjoying myself though. Kinda
nice to get the ole body moving again. Seems like the first part of 2012 was one long nearly
ongoing nap/dream that I only 'awoke' from when something needed doing in the 3D material world.
Probably a 'balancing' took place. You know, get me outta the head in the stars energy and
back into the be here now state of being. Well, I WAS doing my best to be here now, on a moment
to moment basis, but it seems that NOW all the aspects are gonna be working together as one.
With just a little more time, attention and becoming, I'm pretty sure I can get all the selves
looking through one set of eyes, the observer's eyes. Imagine that...I wonder if those selves
'turn on' some of that 90% of our brain capacity that we don't bother to use when they arrive
for 'once and all'. Maybe light up some of that junk DNA?
I dunno. I just know that something has changed...in a really big way. Guess with time I will
figure it all out but for right now I'm loving being outside working in the garden...communing
with our beloved planet. Probably not even important to figure things out actually...everything
in our world is in a state of flux...figuring would probably only lead to frustration. One
of those 'go with the flow' kinda situations.