I had a helluva weekend-- I had a really CRAZY-- soul-testing weekend and it was there all last week too-- so it fits.
OK awile ago-- I stared doing meditation regarding bringing ALL my soul fragments together-- and bringing ALL my timelines past present and future together-- ALL into the ONE -- my Highest Self --and my Highest Self Timeline!!
I had test after test after test-- last week-- conflict and crises etc... and some I passed and some I failed but i learned and learned.
Then the weekend hit and I had such a Dark Night of the Soul hit me-- and I got so ANGRY!! I was absolutely ENRAGED--and all of it was Old fears and Old conflicts and feeling not good enough-- feeling like a total LOSER-- and really it just felt like I was back in high school again-- when I was terrorised and bullied and ostracized and rejected-- by all of the people I loved and all the people I did not really care about-- Anyway..
OK --then I went inner-- and I asked my Guides-- What the hell?? I thought I was so OVER these things-- and the reply was --You are- BUT- you are releasing layers of the dense emotions that are like veils over your awareness and chakras--
WOW!! it was like someone turned on a light-- like I suddenly "got it".
It has not been easy-- and its all stuff I have repressed into the recesses of my mind and soul-- and it is time to clear it all away. And here I was thinking it was just a one time thing-- NOPE!!
So today I feel Lighter-- refreshed -- like I have had a good cry and a bit tired and still a bit weak from it all.
I am not giving up-- I AM determined to resolve it ALL-- every single last thing that I fear, am ashamed about, feel guilty over or anything that makes me feel disempowered or unworthy-- its all going!!
Last night my 17 yr old son asked me to proof read his english essay-- no problem-- I read it thru-- and I was so touched-- he wrote his essay about the one thing he could not live without-- his essay included all his toys, his car, his old truck- he is at present restoring-- and he finally named this one thing-- the one thing he could not live without is--- his family-- his 3 sisters, his dad and I his mom-- AWWWW--
AWWWW-- It was like the one thing that i needed to hear at the very moment I read it and I knew-- This Is All so Worth it-- I told him-- I echo that-- me too beloved-- me too!! I so LOVE you and all of you-- US--
Onwards and Upwards-- beautifuls--
Thanks for listening-- Love S