Sitting here, just a few minutes ago, I was kinda feeling grumpy about the rain, and it's cold and I have
a nasty headache. I wasn't actually HAVING a pity party, but I was definitely working up to one, and it
woulda been a doozie. Then I started watching a vid in Ish's blog...dare you to watch or something it was
called. It was an absolute litany of everything that's wrong with our world. So there I am, just watching,
not even particularly thinking about it, you know, just sorta hanging there letting it talk to me without
really hearing it. Then all of a sudden I REALLY DID hear it.
Something happened. I don't have one single clue what to call it, but it was like something shot through
my bubble system and all of a sudden I got the most HORRIFIC energies pouring into me. It was like the
pain and fear and sorrow of every person on the planet was be aimed right straight at all my physical
senses. Only it didn't feel like pain to me, or fear or even sorrow. It was just this massive feeling
of horror at how far wrong we, as a species, have gone wrong in this game. Fortunately the experience
was just a flash of awareness...thank goodness...my poor body couldn't have contained all that for long
without flying into bits I don't think. I had to stop the video and catch my breath...it knocked me
for a loop.
Now I dunno why that happened, or why right now. I've known alla the stuff that's wrong, we all do, I
didn't actually need a 'feel-O-thon' to understand that we've made a mess of things on this planet. Maybe
it was Universe reminding me of all that lies outside the cozy little world I've created around myself here.
You can run but you can't hide. You can look away, but it doesn't fix anything. I've been going around with
the idea that I'm in it but not of it...seems Universe has a different idea about that. According to Universe
we ARE it. No hand offs...no passing the baton...this is our race and we each have to run it to the very end.
Of course right on the heels of that comes what can I do? I'm just one person, out here in the bush, nobody
is gonna listen to me...heck, mostly I don't even talk to folks...I'm pretty reclusive. I've fashioned myself
a lovely, cozy world here that I'm quite comfy in thank you very much. I have no motivation to get out there
and DO anything. I comfort myself with the idea that I am assisting in raising planetary frequency, and I
do put a bit of effort into sending positive energies and loving light to areas where it feels needed. Maybe
that's enough. I'm sure if it isn't Universe will show me quite clearly whatever else is expected of me.
Whatever that particular experience was about I sure hope I never have to have it repeated. It was like all the
'ungood' in the world got right in my face for a minute there. Suddenly it felt like it was cold and rainy
on the inside. Like everything would just melt if that rain didn't stop and let the light through. Afterward
I thought of that scene in Blade Runner where Harrison Ford was hanging by his fingertips in the rain. I hope
we aren't quite that far down the 'road to ruin' but that's the movie my inner projector showed me.
It's over now. I feel like myself again, but I kinda doubt I'm gonna be forgetting that real soon.