HUMOUR FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS):

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Police were called to a day care where a 3yr-old was resisting a rest

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
 The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference .  

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder & got a little behind in his work.
 
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
 
The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months
 
A thief fell & broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
 
A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

A will is a dead giveaway.

A backward poet writes inverse.

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.   

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
 
Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft & I'll show you A-flat miner.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

A calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
 
A boiled egg is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.

 

Hope you all had a good laugh, Its the best medicine; and its Free. ha ha!

Love you

Shoshana