Transition Regression Fruition

So just really quick. I had a "good run" for the past months as far as my spirituality and staying in the now. Not that I haven't had my lows or small bouts of negativity but I've been able to recover. However, this week everything feels really off to me. This might sound strange but it almost felt like I had been going through something and now that I have come back out on the other side I am *allowed* to fall back into my old patterns again. I know that sounds odd. But it seems as if for the past few months I have been devouring many lessons all the time and I had this light around me protecting me as I implemented them. I feel as if that part of the transition is over now and there has been a shift.

With this shift I have been able to focus more and get things done whereas before I was getting nothing done and had no idea where the time was going. (Although this was not necessarily bad- I was spenidng lots of time in nature and with the kids). Things seemed to be moving so fast I was dizzy and all I could do was be still and concentrate on the moment.

Now I find myself waiting for next week to be happy instead of being happy NOW. I find myself getting irritated with people where before I was looking on everyone with love and understanding despite behaviors. I am feeling stress again like i haven't for some time. But also things have been happening for me. It's as if during my transitional phase I put out into the Universe what I wanted and needed and now is the time that it is manifesting itself. Like all of a sudden going back to school is a reality. And I got offered work at a women's shelter. I am finally getting my son's nursery together. Everything is coming to fruition.

Some seemingly "bad" things have hapened as well. My husband lost his wallet with the money orders inside of it to pay bills. A cop came to my house and gave me a ticket for not having my dogs licensed in this city (we recently moved. who knew you had to do that? not me.) an old student loan resurfaced of my husband's and now his check is being garnished for it. I have not let any of it bother me though. I just have this knowing inside of me that it is God's will. I keep saying that, before I always said "Universe," "Higher Self," "Spirit" but now I've been saying God. I trust in God. He/She has a plan. If we become stripped of everything I feel like things will still be alright. Yet I find myself stressed over seemingly nothing like being late for one of my daughter's activities or getting ten loads of laundry done and put away or my husband making a mess. It's strange. I don't know why I am not finding a mess in my house to be God's will as well. I don't know why the dental receptionist asking me to take my daughter out of school early 6 months from now for her appoitment infuriated me. Or why I let myself feel left out and shunned by other school mothers as if I'm 12 all over again.

I guess I am just putting this out there to see if this is a normal part of the process or if there is something in the stars and others are feeling the same way.

Of course, it could be as simple as me just not having the time this week to meditate or read this site or sleep much. We've had guests, an upcoming dance recital, dentist appointments, baby showers, etc. But it is the last week of school and activities and I find myself really looking forward to next week and getting into a routine and letting my family and my self just relax. But I know this way of thinking is faulty as I should just accept what is and be in th present and not say 'I'll be happy when.."