i AM the STRENGTH i have longed to be...

i look forward to returning to canada. the apartment seems perfect and i finally view my parents from a distance, as 2 people who gave birth to me but not people that give me love, acceptance or clarity. i will treat them with respect and distance and appreciation for what they have done for me. i have a strange confidence that my partner will find his inner peace as i have found mine. I also feel that there will be infinite opportunities to earn enough money to pay for the debt and even save and buy all the things i need. my son and i will have a fun and easy pattern and he will have part time daycare to give me some time to myself and to progress on my projects. i will succeed in everything i do because i will be focused and enthusiastic and strongly grounded in who i am.

not too far in the future, i will have: a decent reliable van to get around with my family, a inspired and energetically harmonious home that i have chosen wisely, inner discipline to be "on top" of my daily tasks...and many more things that i cannot yet see but are for my highest good.

i feel blessed about my new found ability to distance myself not from people but from their harmful flaws. these flaws are to be accepted and overcome, and i can observe them without feeling wounded by them. whatever disappointments come my way, i can just gently step aside, continuing to focus on the love that binds me to infinity.

i am deeply deeply grateful for my ability to discern what i will absorb and what i will not.
the stars are shining tonight
tomorrow the sun will rise with unstoppable grace

i am here, standing with courage gratitude and love. self pity is a disant dream. i am the strength i have longed to be...

and as i grow, so will my loved ones.

ninja twilight
medicine woman