I AM The Street

Late one night I was informed by the angelic others of my own Higher Consciousness, in the quiet of the night as I was just dropping off to sleep, “You have a thinking problem.” Okay, I knew this was coming, I knew someday I’d have to face the reality of my problem. I’ve realized that it’s the first thing I do everyday and the last thing I do at night, I do it so much during the day I don’t even REALIZE I’m doing it, and I even do it sometimes in my sleep. Yes, it’s sad but true, I do have a thinking problem.

Now, these others of our oneness put in a reassuring world, and I figured, okay, it isn’t the end of the world, I can handle this, but I have to tell you, I think I’m pretty worried about how I’m going to get rid of it! I mean, how do you get rid of this serious a thinking problem??? And as I’m thinking about how I’m going to get rid of my thinking problem, I notice, Damn! I’m doing it AGAIN! Worrying and stewing about my thinking problem isn’t helping anything!

Okay, so how do you get rid of a thinking problem? I have to admit that doing so would simplify things a lot for me. What would it be like not to worry about every little thing? To not feel guilt about the past, worry about the future, or have judgments about every little thing? To just experience life instead of thinking about it! What would that be like? Now that would be living! That would be freedom! What joy to just experience the freedom and flow of living! I would very much like to be rid of this thinking problem forever!!

But the problem is, I don’t know HOW to get rid of it! It is such a habit. And I also have to admit, that yes, I even enjoy it sometimes, too. Rationalizing or debating is always good for a pastime, and I’ve always liked thinking about difficult, esoteric topics, that’s always good for a spin, and I loved school, twelve years of college didn’t do anything good for my thinking problem at all! But that’s no excuse, I realize, it’s time I stopped thinking about it and did something about it, but what??!!!

I’ve decided that I love this energy of allowing! It allows me to rest my poor, overworked mind. It even allows me to rest my even more exhausted emotions. What a relief! Let’s get this figured out! Oops! I mean, no, let’s just allow! Let’s allow the energy of forgiveness to replace all those worn out emotions of judgment, guilt, and sin. Let’s allow the energy of love to expand into the unknown where none of these things we spend our time consumed by even exist. Let’s just allow that fear, that anger, that FATIGUE, to just float away on the oceans of forever. We don’t need it anymore. We don’t need it anymore! If I can just let it go, I can be free forever!

But then, I think, how am I going to handle my life? I have survived by thinking, haven’t I? Isn’t thinking how I have prepared myself for living, for surviving? Isn’t thinking how I protect myself from possible danger and attacks? I mean, if I don’t stop and THINK, aren’t I going to get into trouble, the kind I can never find my way out of? You know, “Think both ways before you cross the street!” WHAT street? Does that street even exist? Whose street is it? Can’t I make that street anything I want it to be? And do I WANT it to be dangerous, try to kill me even, if I’m not thinking hard enough about it? And I think, what street IS it that I want to be crossing? The old energy street, or the new energy street of my own making? Why can’t I re-invent that street? Why can’t I remake it into something I desire? Into something I WANT to be crossing? Why can’t that street be my bridge into a new world, a world where thinking about everything is a think of the past! I would like to find that street! I would very much like to be on that street!

But wait, why NOT find that street? Can’t this street be anything at all that I desire, if I just allow? Can’t I find that “allowing” energy and just allow it into being, without thinking about it even? Why NOT allow it into being? Why NOT be free from fear, free from thinking about it, free from protecting myself from whatever it might show me about what I am thinking it could be. So, why not be free from thinking about that street?

And then I think, is my thinking self my true self, or my imposter or ego self? And if I am CREATING my reality, then what is all this worrying, judging, guilt, and fear, all this THINKING, doing for me anyway? Isn’t it just a way to stay stuck in the thinking spiral? Isn’t it just a way to create exactly what it is that I DON’T want to create, and by doing so, convince me that I need to think even harder so I don’t get stuck in it? Don’t get hurt even? Don’t get judged by others? Don’t get left behind by society, by life? Don’t get thrown out of existence? Don’t make some HUGE mistake that I’ll never be able to think my way out of?

And then I decide, I’m done thinking about it! Maybe I can just trust self to know, without thinking, without deciding even, what this street is for me.

Maybe I can just trust myself to be whatever it is that that street needs me to be. Maybe I can just trust that street to be there when I step out onto it, that no cars or trucks or buses will run me over, that I’ll know exactly where and when to step forward or backward, that my feet will just become an extension of that street, that street an extension of me. I love that street. That street is waiting for me. It shines like gold and silver in the starlight of my soul. I am ready for that street.

I am walking. I am running. I look forward to that street, I want that street, I crave that street with all my being, all of it paved, just so, just so, so that my walking, my running, is unencumbered by that thinking self I’ve left behind. It is just right for me. How I love that street. It is my becoming. The signs of freedom are visible to me on that street. The entrances and exits of those others, those other streets, come in and out of my street with perfect, exact timing. I love that timing. I love those other streets that come and go with mine. My shoes, unlike any other shoes, find their own way, the footprints of my soul are laid out before me. I am perfect, exact, in my becoming. I have found me, the beauty of life everlasting, on that street.

I AM that street.

As Always!

Me & The Red

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