Moving Mountians With Love

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Posted June 20th, 2008 by christenwypy
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When I give in to the feeling of being angry, it creates bad energy for the whole house. I manifest that which isn't. I am an expert at this. Like a natural disaster, I can destroy everythng in a single blow. Suddenly our lives are splattered with mud and grime and everything falls apart, even if just moments ago it sparkled and shined. But I am learning now to be a Goddess as well and to create the glow, to manifest and even just to see that which is.

It's not the politically correct thing to say and it certainly is not what you'd be told by a therapist or a domestic violence counselor, but the truth is I have a hand in creating this as much as he does (not that I am abused- just take turns playing victim from time to time). We create things for ourselves by our thoughts, emotions, and actions. I have been a bitch. That does not excuse his reactions but on some level I expect his reactions. I fall into an old pattern and he falls right in with me. When I love him despite this, when I choose the higher road of love, he stops and then he treats everyone with love also. My mother, she says she kept quiet to keep the peace and "look what happened to her." But she was quietly angry. She felt like a victim, like she had no control, and even though she was silent she raged on the inside. There's a difference. You can be quiet and react with love which is always the choice we should make in everything- aka what would Jesus do- or we can react with some other, lower emotion which creates bullshit on top of bullshit. and if I am still carrying the same bullshit even if I were not here I would get the same exact situation in another relationship, with a boss at work, wherever- it would manifest itself somewhere.

And here is the most magical thing that I have observed lately by tracking my life and its occurrences-

Something bad happens to me and I have a lot of negative emotion. But if I choose to not act on that emotion and instead do something positive like sign up for school, give to charity, play with the children, whatever- then something almost instantly good happens.

It's why Jesus said Love your Enemies. Could anything be more powerful than to harness that anger and hate and respond to it with pure love? In the face of love your enemy is powerless against you- he can only work for you if you love him.. And you are changing the world by choosing love. Your reality is instantly lifted. Everything shines. You find more pieces to your puzzle. And blessings rain down upon you. Turn the other cheek- hell yes. Here is my other cheek let us do this dance again, let us transform the world through love.

Choosing to act with love even when it is difficult, or even more so when it is difficult, is key. When you do that you get instant good karma. But the emotion has to be there. You can't do it in order to get something back. You have to do it because you are trying to do the right thing. And all that negative emotion that has built up transforms into a postive and then its like literally the light of Heaven is shining down on you. It's everything Jesus said and taught. You can move mountains!

So when something gets you angry-recognize it for what it is- a lower emotion, something that feels icky. Try to understand why you feel that way and what lesson it is showing you, and then, despite it all, do something good and kind or even just feel love for the person or the situation at hand because they are a part of this life that is precious and it is a lesson even if you don't see it yet, a lesson from God. A direct line from him, a golden gift wrapped in pretty paper. Cherish it. And then something good happens. Your vibration is raised. You are showered in abundance. You become love, your true self. And I think some of the negative you hold inside is released- I think- not totally sure on that part yet.

In my truth one person is not victim and the other prepetrator. The only ones that are victims are the kids if they absorb the parents' malfunctions- and even that I am not sure of- maybe they want to learn these same lessons, not sure on that either. The more I know the less I know. But I know I am not a victim and I am in control of my own life. If I want a good marriage I can have it. It's a matter of my thoughts and emotions and controlling them because when I do he is a kind, generous, loving person. I just have not yet reached the point where I can stay this way because I find I keep having bad expectations and then they come true. But I am staying this way for longer and longer periods now. And as one person gets better the whole house goes with them.

Not sure if any of that makes sense or not but it is what I have been learning through my journaling and meditating. I don't even know if everyone has the same truth or the same lessons anymore but this is what is true for me and what is working for me. And I know that love cannot be wrong for anyone. It is the only real Truth.