Personal Bill of Rights-A Case of the Pen Being Mightier Than the Sword :)

My first attempt to share how the Personal Bill of Rights came into my life in 1994 was so long, even I lost interest while editing. *blush* I think I can condense it into a shorty short now that I've spewed it once.

It was my second bout with panic attacks. Having not had a single one for ten years, I was sure this time it was something more; my heart, lungs, brain, sanity. A few doctor's appointments and a couple of emergency visits later, I was referred to a psychiatrist. My primary care physician for months kept telling me, "You're depressed" to which I would reply, "No I'm not. I am GETTING depressed because you are not listening. I am having panic attacks again and I used to take 10 mgs of Inderal per day (or was it 5?) years ago. They helped. Can I please just have them?" Back to the second sentence of this paragraph: "I was referred to a psychiatrist" instead.

This many months later, I was now a shell of myself-scared, vulnerable and panicking pretty much every day. The first session was 50/50. Didn't like him, didn't dislike him. The second was 80/20-pretty sure I didn't like him, but who was I to make any decisions at that point. "It's probably me and not him," I thought to myself as I agreed to see him the following week.

"Next week" came and the panic was so bad I called and told him, "I can't come in. There is no one here to drive me and I know for sure that I can't drive myself." He went on to try and not only convince me that I could either drive myself, take a cab or bus, but also to pretty much let me know what a loser I was if I let the panic stop me from just "pulling myself up by my bootstraps" and getting there. Nothing I said was good enough or "right."

Long story now cut very short, I not only never saw or spoke to "Dr. Humiliator" again, but still owed him payment for that last appointment missed. I wished so badly many times that I had stuck up for myself during that phone call, so I considered giving him a piece of my mind along with his check. Again, I thought I was not in the best place to be making any big decisions, and maybe he was right anyway. Maybe I was the only one on the planet Earth who could not pull herself together during a severe panic attack and get in a cab.

Then BINGO BANGO! I "remembered" (in quotes due to knowing now it was the first time my angels appeared in my life to show me they "had my back") a photocopy of this thing called Personal Bill of Rights that someone had given me just days before. It was perfect! It said so many things that I wished I had not only thought of that day on the phone, but had the guts to maybe SCREAM at him. I mean, he already made a point to let me know I was what he would call "unstable." It's not like I was going to act "out of character" as far as he was concerned.

Angels to the Rescue! I was now armed with my black and white photocopy of The Personal Bill of Rights, a highlighter pen (I will put in red the ones I remember highlighting), envelope and stamp. I sealed the envelope not "with a kiss" that day, but instead a huge and satisfying grin.

May you, too, experience the empowerment of these Rights, if not now, then one day when "You care enough to send the very best" and Hallmark just won't cut it.

Personal Bill of Rights

1. I have the right to ask for what I want.

2. I have the right to say no to requests or demands I can't meet.

3. I have the right to express all of my feelings, positive or negative.

4. I have the right to change my mind.

5. I have the right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.

6. I have the right to follow my own values and standards.

7. I have the right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe, or it violates my values.

8. I have the right to determine my own priorities.

9. I have the right not to be responsible for others' behavior, actions, feelings, or problems.

10. I have the right to expect honesty from others.

11. I have the right to be angry at someone I love.

12. I have the right to be uniquely myself.

13. I have the right to feel scared and say "I'm scared."

14. I have the right to say "I don't know."

15. I have the right not to give excuses or reasons for my behavior.

16. I have the right to make decisions based on my feelings.

17. I have the right to my own needs for personal space and time.

18. I have the right to be playful and frivolous.

19. I have the right to be healthier than those around me.

20. I have the right to be in a non-abusive environment.

21. I have the right to make friends and be comfortable around people.

22. I have the right to change and grow.

23. I have the right to have my needs and wants respected by others.

24. I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect.

25. I have the right to be happy.