i am going through an extraordinarily hard time. i cannot keep positive anymore because i feel broken. even talking about it feels aweful...

maybe i will be better in the mornig, maybe i wont. i have been having trouble sleeping. i can't explain what is wrong with me...i have excruciating back pain but thats not quite it....i am about to give birth to my 2nd child but that is not either...my one year old is too much for me to handle right now with my pain and pregnancy...but there is even more piling on...

my parents support me but also make me feel extremely stressed and depressed. i feel completely let down by everyone in my life....

as i write, there is an internal ache...my husband is not here with me and may not even be here on time for the birth...even when he is, i dont know how much help he will be or if he will be an added stress.

i have physical difficulty doing anything. i feel disabled but dont have anyone to care for me on that level. i am wound up and anxious and cannot relax. i cry a lot and the tears sometimes dont stop. i feel unconsollable and let down. i feel no support or ability to solve my situation.

i need so much help but dont konw where to look for it.
i am writing this blog out of desperation, feeling that no one will care or even be able to help me.

i dotn knwo what to do
i dont know what to do

i am trying so hard to find answers
i feel completely lost

please help.