Sometimes painful but necesary

I am talking about letting go of our children, cuting the cord, let them grow and learn on their own. I think at times is painful, because we all would love to protect our children forever, keep them from making mistakes, but if we don't let go, what will follow next is dissapointment, sorrow and grief.

I remember my father helped me to ge my first job at this Pizzeria, it was so cool coz I was earning money, and we know how it's when u r young. This job tought me responsibility, and helped me to polish some of my people skills. That was the first time I worked with people, it was hard! and even harder at my age because you don't expect such behaviours from people, I realize that life wasn't fair, that working and earning a paycheck was harder than I thought.

And in spite of all, I have to thank my dad for that, for letting me go, for cuting the cord. Sometimes we as parents have such a hard time leting go, such a hard time facing some of the problems our kids encounter, it's painful sometimes to see your kid being bullied in school,etc... and although as parents we have the responsibility to protect them, we also have to teach them to solve their issues on their own. I am not saying to turn your back when someone is kicking his butt, but to teach them how to handle situations.

Yesterday I spoke with my son, he is Panama with my sister right now, and is a good thing because Ezra is tooo attached to me and he needs to learn to survive alone without his mom. So he was upset because my sister have him doing shores, washing the dishes and picking up after himself, and it's because he was so used to leaving things around the house and me picking up after him. So he thinks is sooo unfair that he now, has to grow and learn to be more organized,clean, etc.

I have ben trying to teach him for so long no to be a slob, ir disorganized, but you know after a lond day at work, do u think I wanted to argue with him about the mess around the house? I was too tired, and getting upste was only manking me sick and it was sucking my energy. So now, he's going to learn the hard way. My sister doesn't put up with messy house, or uncleaness, oh no.. So I told him, that I was glad he was learning, and that now he would realize what I was trying to teach him for so long.

What's painful here is hearing his voice over the phone, he felt it was unfair that my sister was having him helping around the house. But it's necesary many time to let them learn on their own, to fall and raise again, is not easy for a parent, specially mothers, to see our kids going through tough times, is not easy for for us to bite our tongues when someone else is disciplining them. About a month ago we went to this amusement park with his friends and the moms. One of the kids was being very obnoxious with Ezra and the other kid and was not having fun at all, he was being such a party pooper!, even the other mom and I were getting tired of his attitude, so I waited for the right time and pulled him to the side and had a talk with him, I told him that the others kids were enjoying themselves and that it wasn't fair that he wasn't having fun, only coz he wanted things his way. His mom would let him get away with things, so he was a spoiled child.

I wasn't mean but his mom wasn't too happy I had a talk with the boy, she didn't say a thing because she knew that indeed his son was being very obnoxious, and was ruining everybody's fun. It wasn't easy for his mom to have another person correcting his son, but again! she knew I was right. He later apologyze, but we never again hang out with him.

Sometimes I think of the day when Ezra will have to spread his wings and go, it's going to be painful, but it's necesary to let go. Some parents get upset when their kids go away to another city or country for college, or they become dissapointed when the kid doesn't follow on his/her footsteps. Some go as far and letting them live in their homes with wife and kids, because they don't want to let go.

By letting go, you teach them responsibility, respect for one another, and to survive on their own. Letting go means turn our backs and pretend we don't know what's going on, to see if they can solve their problems, of course if we can help we will, we have to, our kids are forever and they still needs us.

I hope I am strong enough, for the day my son have to go, he is my only child, but I am getting ready to face his desicions and will suport him as much as I can. After all, that's all I can do.

Love to you all,
Darien