The ups and downs.....and all around~

it never ceases to amaze me how life goes up and down over and over...! Once I feel I have gone through something it comes back again! I am in situations now where I know the answers are coming for me, and I don't know what they are obviously, but I do know they will be wonderful and beautiful. They seemed so far away just yesterday and today seem much closer.....the confusion for my situations is still there......but I am letting go...little by little. I suppose that I fear that if I let go completely I will lose everything. BUT I KNOW I won't..... so that doesn't make sense does it? I am struggling to let go of the 3D world and move away from that.....it seems. I don't know where I"m headed........and that is uneasy. I don't know what to do next or where to go next.....so now I am just surrendering. I sometimes feel like running......running away......far,far away......and then I just stop. I just stay where I am in these situations and again I become confused......so I am again surrendering. I hope this makes sense......because I am just letting it come out as it comes. I have been experiencing many changes and I have been feeling very different than others in my family.....friends etc.(not that this is new...but it's so defined now) like I don't belong.....like I am distant....not here with them....like I am foreign to them.....and so I begin to try to fit it again.....and I become anxious, angry, sad.....so very sad when I do. So I am centering myself again today......walking in the light again today......and trusting that I am strong enough to stay there this time. I choose joy, I choose love, I choose light. Thank you for listening my beautiful friends, soul brothers and sisters, and soul mates......I love you.