As a child I used to have mystical ecstasies and the more I grew up the more I lost my link to The Source. I'm trying to get it back, but I feel nothing in my "deep inner self". I can't really feel the presence of God. Maybe I'm asking for too much...but I used to "feel" the stars surrounding me. Today...they are far, so far...I've tried reiki, meditation, relaxation, everything...and I'm still - well I feel - disconnected from The Source. I'm not doing anything great either while I'm here. So maybe I'm not that "special". Maybe being human is shallow? Petty? I don't know. I'm lost. I want to be divine again.