More on attachments and letting go....

A friend of mine sent this to me the other night…
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“I have some attachments but it's really not easy for me. I am at a place where I have to start my life over again from scratch. Not only that but the thing that I miss the most is having that someone special to spend time with and loving me for me. Even though I've been married for about 20 years, the entire marriage was empty...I always felt alone...not only was he absent working night shifts…He was a non-emotional man. In the last 3 years I moved out of the bedroom and again had been alone. Anyway, after your last email about attachments...I had to share it with you...I had to tell somebody...sorry if I'm bothering you … Thank you”

Dear Friend,

Consider this...

It is important to know how to differentiate between the good attachments and the bad ones. Making that distinction can save you from much pain.
For your case it is important to realize that you were in a place that was un-loving and un-satisfying … mentally, emotionally and however else you see it. It is easy to dwell on these things also, and this is where it gets tricky. The best way for someone like you to relieve yourself of this burden of feelings is to be GRATEFUL for the time or experience that you had with this person, or maybe the experiences you had while you were with this person. Make a list of all the GOOD things that came out of your relationship. Reflecting on these things will make it easier to bear for a while and then finally release.

Have you ever noticed that it is easier to talk about something good then it is to talk about something bad? This is because the bad things create a physical pain, an emotional imbalance in our body that we try to correct even when we are having it. So, the concentration of thought is not only on the bad thing itself but on the feeling – or the emotional imbalance. We are trying to fix ourselves - and that hurts almost as much as the triggering thoughts. So when we talk about the good things we don't have to worry about our bodies trying to fix those feelings - they are already good. Talking about the good things is great and what happens is that you wind up talking about them so much that it becomes almost tiring to hear about them, and eventually...you stop and let them be as they are.

Thinking of the good things also provides us with positive emotion that gives us strength, motivation, character, and so on. These things will cause us to break out from the shell that we've created during our stressing time, and enable us to look for more things to fulfill that happiness. Once we find these other fulfillments - a new experience has been created for us to reflect on and the past is well … the past.
I hope I helped you, we can talk more if you want but for now I need to get some rest, I am drained, in more ways than one. Support is important, bless you.

Love,
Tommy
P.S. You’re not bothering me, but I do need to get some sleep, lol.

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