One of these days where I am receptive for new energy entering my sphere

I feel very vulnerable today and completely in lack of energy. Normally I would stress over being in this condition, and associate it with something bad, but some how I am experiencing events in a different light right now. I know I am being receptive. Something new is entering my sphere, and the state I find myself in now is part of the female Christ nature, that I am learning about.

I just came back from a walk in the forest. I was sad and felt that I couldn’t concentrate on my work, so I went out into the sun instead. My office is close to a little piece of wild forest, and I have a special path that I love to walk there. Today I met a beautiful big owl when I went there, and my eye fell on a new path I never noticed before. I started walking the path and it took me along a small steam of water up to a place where a tree had broken and fell over the water steam making a kind of bridge. I felt a deep symbolism in this forest experience, and started my inner dialog with the sacred Christ. I knew instantly what the tree and the water symbolized, and I chose not to cross the water, but rest in peace that nature had made a way to the other side. I stayed a long time on this place in the forest just listening and feeling the life around me and within me. Every thing was in beautiful peace. The big trees there had beautiful ranks of seeds hanging from all over them. It looked so fertile. I never saw so feminine a tree before. I heard a mouse in the grass eating something, and I felt so blessed that I didn’t run away from me but felt safe enough to stay near me.

I have so much love inside me, and often I project it the “wrong” places and loose my balance for a while. This inner desire to let go of myself and give all my love into one other person can be so strong. I recently had a meditation where I experienced to go from childhood to be fully dressed in my femininity. With this came an enormous power, which I felt strongly running through my veins. It is a power that I am still learning to use correctly. So many of us suppress this power within us because we feel its there, and we have a unconscious fear of it, because we sense its enormous possibilities that we do not know how to handle safely yet. Others use it but as it becomes a destructive power, because we are not yet able to rest peacefully in it carrying the right consciousness. When we start to open for it, it can manifest in form as powerful seduction skills, it can take form as strongly undermining power directed at our self as we become victims for our own negative judgement and critique, or we can even direct that intense destructive power at others and undermine them with judgement and critique.

Today I wonder how that power can be used in its full and positive potential, when we manage to consciously direct it in our divine creation and creativity?! How it can live inside us in peace and in allowance to run freely through us as a quiet gentle stream, creating beauty and life everywhere it is reaching on its way. It should be our inner most natural state of being as human beings on this earth, any person’s birth gift. And yet it isn’t so. My eyes and ears are opening every day for the inner balance of our god and goddess self. I am so drawn to understand our inner goddess nature in depth, because I feel it is a wisdom that has been lost from the world. Something that needs to be reinstalled in our collective unconscious.

Today I am in my receptive inner goddess nature, in all its sensitivity and fragility. My heart is wide open, and my defences are down. I am very aware of my own imperfection as well as the perfection within the imperfection. I will nurture myself, give myself love and protection, and there through I will nurture the new life that is flowing into me from heaven above. I feel my feet anchored in the solid ground as the earth wraps me in the red light of her warm protection. I will prepare myself for the birth of creation, when I will find the use of my divine power to give birth to the creative manifestation of the new inside me.

In love and nurture…
Helle