Yesterday, I had this total moment of clarity. I was at my excercise class and watched the other gals interacting with each other. Some are lifelong friends with each other and some newer aquaintances. They seem to have this comraderie with each other which baffles me. They have this inate ability to be "girl-friends" and "gal-pals". They can giggle and laugh and goof around, party together and act like they don't have a care in the world. I've tried on various occasions to go out with them on one of their soirees, but always feel like a fifth wheel. I never seem to fit in or be able to relax and enjoy myself. What struck me last night was this has always been me. I've always felt different, somehow apart from what appears normal to society. I find that friends I do hook up with are somewhat serious, intellectual and now ...really really elightened invididuals who connect in this really intense way. And the rest of society seems to go on around us, skipping to a different tune. Question is, am I missing something? Why is it that SO many people, women in particular can participate in this togetherness and bonding when some like myself watch it from the outside looking in. I ask the question of some of you, do you too have a sense of separatness from society? Have you always felt this way? Do you think it is why we have come to where we are in our awakening and so much of the rest of the world seems to go on with "Business as usual". I want to yell at them sometimes and say "Don't you get it?" Don't you see what is happening?" But I know that is not the way.