Dear __________,

I am writing to ask you a question that has been bothering me for a long time. To you, am I just a situational sister? You seem to only call me and care how I am doing when you WANT something...or want favors...want ME to do something for YOU. Any other time in our lives you hardly have anything to do with me. You never call me just for simple conversation...granted for the most part you and your wife make sure you keep me updated on family events, but because I didn't have a child I was not invited to my niece's birthday party?
Perhaps, from hearing a comment from a friend of mine, that you might worry or have worried perhaps I would've had ill feelings from it?

I've held my own thoughts for far too long, and the day you come to my door is the day I will tell them to you.
I'm sorry, but the answer is NO. Even if you have the cash in hand, I'm opening the door for this to happen every month, and also escalate to the situation that happened when I lived at the homestead. This time around I'd be screwed because do you think I'd go to dad again asking him for payment when he can barely afford to keep afloat?

Do you understand the main reason why Dad is in the position he is in? It is because of YOU. Because of you and his inability to say NO to you. You may not realize it, but you are sucking Dad dry as well as yourself...Dad of all the finances, of his very life...and you, you are sucking away all the resources from you. I know you knew in your head that I'm too nice, soft-hearted, and kind...that I have an inability to say no to you let alone anyone.
Well, today is the day that I grow a set and stand up for what I believe in.
I believe that you need tough love and I am going to be the one to give it to you.

Me, the one person you knew inside yourself you could whittle down and make cave. I will NOT.
You can tell me all the nice things you want, but I know your actions will not change...you could promise to me that you would stop asking Dad for money and I would know it is a lie.
________, it is time you realized that times are changing. You are so close to a point of no return, and Dad is there too. If you keep going the way you have been going there will be NOTHING left for you or ANYONE.
You need to grow up! You need to realize it takes more than scraping by anymore. You need a JOB, you need to WORK. Having Dad or Jeff milk cows for you does not constitute working...you need a job that provides income. Farming is dying, the milk price is so low...Dad can't afford to BAIL YOU OUT ANYMORE.
I can't afford to bail you out. Even if you give me the cash upfront, it takes up my time and my sanity. Like I enjoy getting calls that I know will have you on the other end, using 'the voice' of reason....no.
_______, our rent is going up next month. We'll be paying an extra 125 dollars for this tiny apartment. My job security is in question due to people not buying a lot these days...and I'm manifesting as hard as I can that the Co-Op survives because I love my job...but if we were to close down...what the heck would I do?
I'm cutting back on 'fun' spending; I want to keep room on my c.c. for emergencies, I want to keep extra cash on hand in case of emergencies.
I'm sorry...but right now I am more concerned over covering my bases as well as my husband's. It's not my fault you did not have the money at the time to pay the bill on time....that it went overdue.
It's not my job to be a constant babysitter for you, especially when I hardly see my husband.
I'm sorry...but I'm not really SORRY...but I am not going to help you out anymore until you finally see the light...if that happens, perhaps someday when it is truly needed I will...but until then, you can't rely on me to help you out. I've been taken advantage of, I do not appreciate it, and I'm drawing the line.

With love,
Josie