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Back on September 10, 2008, Brendan wrote about us being guided. I enjoyed what he wrote. He is a much better writer than I am. I would like to expand on what his writings with some thoughts of my own on growth.

I have come to realize as these experiences and dreams occur that we’re in another growth process. It seems just when we think we’re comfortable in our Twin Flame relationship the universe pushes us further to knock us off balance. Sometimes I think it’s purposeful to keep us growing.

Our growth as a couple is tremendously wild and fast. We wanted to go slow but that’s never happened in any way. We’ve been on a wonderful magical roller coaster. Sometimes we’d like to jump off, but we don’t.

The best way I can describe the process is this. It feels like giving birth to a baby. You’re happy you’ve gone into labor. It’s such a relief to know you’ll soon be much lighter and have an easier time getting around. The labor begins and at first, you feel small contractions. You think to yourself, “Wow, this is great!” The contractions become stronger and closer together. This is when you think, I don’t know if I can do this. You know you must continue because there’s no turning back. Now you’re in pain. The baby is pushing itself out. You start screaming, “Get this thing out of me!” You want drugs or to be numbed. You’ll do anything to stop the pain. Let’s say you don’t use them. The labor is so intense. You feel on the verge of death. Now the baby starts to crown. You’re so excited, in excruciating pain, and have mixed feelings about loving and hating this experience simultaneously. When he’s born, you feel blissful that a miracle just happened. Nothing is better than this. In a Twin Flame relationship, you may feel this birthing repeatedly.

Part of this guidance has taught me that if we stay in our comfort zone, growth doesn’t occur as rapidly. Knocking us off balance pushes us further to seek out answers and ask more questions. I believe this growth helps us evolve into our full potential. Fear can sometimes make you want to run. Running is not the answer in our case. If we ran, it would mean our death. We feel this physically, mentally and spiritually. We’ve done this and nothing has ever felt worse. We just need to remember that God knows and we don’t. We need to trust our inner wisdom and follow that. Our heart knows what our heads try to make us run from.

I’ve noticed another thing about being guided. When our hearts feel blissful and our intuition says, “Just do it,” then that’s what we do. What I mean is this. I’ve taken off to his home 900 miles away on the spur of the moment only to text him I was coming. We’ve planned a night before to meet half way to see each other. We’ve broken many of man’s rules and our families opened up like no other’s I’ve ever heard of in history. I wish I could expand on that but at this time I won’t. That’s something Brendan and I will write together when we’re living with each other. This is a whole story in itself.

We’re also being guided through our dreams, visions, intuition, and our works of art and poetry from the past. There have been so many nights where neither of us gets any real rest from dreaming. These dreams are one right after another. They don’t make much sense sometimes and other times our dreams are like locks and keys to one another. I have one part and he has the other. When we share these dreams, we can figure it out. We are amazed this happens and it happens frequently these days.

Visions we’ve shared have also share the lock and key. Like Brendan stated in his article yesterday, he drew those twin symbols over a decade ago and I saw a vision in P-Town back in May that lead me to draw those twins in July. I drew them repeatedly until I felt as if they were right. When I emailed them to him, I did not think twice about it. Then when I was visiting him, I saw his art and I was humbled by the resemblance of his and mine. We both had visions as children playing together since we were young. When we shared this with one another, we found there were so many commonalities it was the same experience. Then there was the vision of the psi attacker. We both saw him the same night. Our visions are something we take seriously and pay attention to. They have showed us many things to let us know we are connected. They keep us knowing we’re always one.

Our intuition is something we have both had many challenges with lately. We are learning to trust one another’s intuition. This is the most current phase of growth and being guided. I know when Brendan has told me something is not right with a person my radar doesn’t seem to kick in. For instance, I thought this group of people who were our friends was to be trusted, only to find that there were a few in the group who only wanted to cause us trouble. This caused a big heartache in the end. I wanted to believe that all people have great intentions but sometimes they don’t. I should know better since I’m a psychiatric nurse. I have my radar on at work but not much of the rest of the time. I especially don’t have it on when I’m with him. I’m only focused on us. He then makes me aware of things to protect us. I know one day I’ll listen. (LOL, the Leo in me is stubborn).

His challenge is equally as difficult in the area of intuition. For example, we were going to rent this place and we were all excited about it. We talked about it all evening. When we went to bed, I woke up in the middle of the night. I was terrified. Everything about the house I thought was so right initially was immediately so wrong. Brendan didn’t understand and why would he after we both were so excited and definite on this place. We were at odds and this was definitely new to us since we’ve agreed on practically everything up to this point. For days we were not happy. He wanted it and I didn’t. He liked the location and so did I. It was ripping me apart. Finally, a few days later I found a house before going to work. I emailed him. It was only a few blocks from the other house we looked at. It was perfect. Both of us agreed this was the one. It’s roomy for our big families which is important. I wanted to have some place to grow as a family as well as have my family and friends are able to visit without paying the high price of hotel bills in a resort town. It was intuition that kicked in that night. We’re renting starting 11/1. Imagine that! However, if you add that 1 to the 2 and 8 in the year 2008 - you get another 11 which equals 11 11. There’s a set of numbers for you.

Many things guide us, including our spirit mother. I’m not sure if that’s what she is. We’ve discussed her being a spirit mother but we’ve also wondered if there is such thing as a TRI-Flame. If anyone has experienced this, let us know. She has been showing me things through dreams. We’ve touched on this a little in the past. Our spirit mother is one entity who is such a comfort when she guides us. You know she keeps telling us both 11 is important and we are one. We’re still figuring her out.

Being guided is a very difficult process. It’s one of complete trust in what you feel, see and do. It’s also learning to trust a person with whom your connected with and what they’ve been guided to also. When you’re not used to fully trusting a person and you’ve found your Twin Flame (Tri-flame) it can feel like the whole birthing experience. We’re at the time when the baby is crowning and it’s all those mixed up emotions at once. Our birth is coming and the miracle is here. We know it’s worth the pain to go through all we’ve been through. I’d be willing to do it again, knowing what I’ve experienced already. I can only imagine with eager anticipation of what has yet to come.

Paula www.collapsingduality.com