Do any of us go into paranoid delusions? besides myself.. I will be fine, normal for a few days, then I am wigging out... paranoid and not trusting anyone. Not even my twin.

Memories of my crucifixion experiences surface... I've had a few of them... Painful, extremely, yet so beautiful, you feel so beautiful.
As the pain drills into you ... as you feel the hurt, the waywardness of mankind, and you are set apart for those moments. Eternal sacrifice for truth and love, and for some reason, a very brilliant hue of violet...

Not trying to say I'm anything special, we can all tap into this feeling at the right time if we are supposed to.
But I've had about three of these experiences .. is this relevant to anything.

It just freaks me out a lot of my friends seem to be into the 666, pentagram crap "hail satan" and whatever else malicious things they do, but their bohemian ways and antics amuse me so... I wish they would just listen to me >>; And they do, once it seems they stop ridiculing me, they pause and seem stunned and sit around me as I speak ... I don't understand. It was so strange, we were smoking spice and they brought out a lighter with the pyramid and the eye and this symbol has always seemed to mean evil (to me),though I know it is an ancient symbol and perhaps has many origins. The all seeing eye on the dollar bill, associated with the illuminati. I think it's first origins were NOT EVIL ..

And here I am feeling crucified and preyed upon by these "evil" friends. I wish for guidance .. I ask the creator for help for these perhaps paranoid delusions, but I know the light in my heart is so strong ....... It will defy any evil influences, even beyond the grave it is so bright!