I've been away from this site for sometime now, only stopping in once and again for nostalgia, or something to that effect. Seems I had to dive head first into the matrix again...8-5 job, rat race, struggling w/ attempts to live a genuine life in a corporate environment...(sigh) and once more found myself consumed by it. Only this time it happened much faster than before. All that I tried to "will" is gone so I find myself w/ another bit of ego dead and a new beginning. The primary lesson that I am gleaming from this last experience is that I have refused to reach out to others for "help". I know most of the logical thoughts regarding this... no man is an island, etc..... but it seems a past, and current, life experience are needing to be healed. Experiences that have left me being a "healer" that does not know how to allow himself to be healed through others. I am a warrior/monk, strong alpha male w/ an undeniable energy and presence whose soul mission is to help, heal/guide yet I sit here today, w/ humble pie before me, asking for help, help w/ allowing myself to be helped....worthy of being helped???? If anyone resonates w/ this I would appreciate your reply....your help.
Namaste,
Mark