as i march through the phase of unraveling my attachments to the story, i've come to understand a bit clearer what my current contract is NOT. i'm still not sure where it's all going to end up or what this life all means to me, but i do understand beyond a shadow of a doubt that i was wrong in my assumption that there would be any recognition for my "work" here. no, recognition is definitely not what i'm here for. Recognition is the one thing that stubbornly has stayed away, no matter how dearly i was seeking it, missing it, wanting it, or finally tried to create it.

i have worked from the background, i have supported and still do support those who are getting the recognition, those who are the true wayshowers, those that people naturally gravitate to for all their troubles to be relieved. i stay at the side and for now call myself "Tech Support"... nobody appreciates tech support. nobody would go to tech support for teachings, but tech support knows everything still, or perhaps even more. tech support is there to fix all the problems of the "true teacher" who gets the recognition, so that he/she can go on doing what they do best. get me right, there is a great amount of joy to be had in this position, in this contract. it is not that i feel like a grey mouse or something. on the contrary. however, it IS the best possible scheme that i could have come up with to let go of the ego attachment to recognition, the attachment to be in the limelight - humbling, yes, priceless still the same in its own little ingenuity - absolutely!

with this little blog, i want to greet all true charismatic wayshowers, teachers and leaders - you're all doing great, no doubt - just show a little gratitude to your personal "tech support person" from time to time, it keeps us going.

(and then, when it's all played out, i'll let go of this story too)

Blessings,
Claudia