I realize, as I'm being channeled here, that there is not very much difference between me and all my fellow ego/personalities out there. Richard has taken it upon himself to "bring me into the light." Though I think I understand the concept, I am not completely convinced that it's the best thing for me. Not to belabor the subject, but after all I've have the run of the place for most of the time, or at least have been it's primary spoiler, hehe, and that gives one a sense of importance and beingness, as some of you might say. But I consider myself a very complex creation, looking out for Richard and defending him with all kinds of mechanisms and behaviour patterns, and reactions. And you know I have been a real victim, I have suffered, and been pushed around, and all I have done is try to figure this game out and play it to the best of my abilities and cunning. We live in a very disfunctional world and to pick on me, and blame me for all of the troubles in Richards lifetime is ridiculous. Of course lately he's not blaming me anymore, but honestly I think he wants me out of the way. He believes there is a higher order, or universal intelligence, or something that I dont work with. He says I need to ascend in the same way that he needs to ascend. You know lately, I've been thinking, and in the meditations I do feel myself letting go and feeling lighter and lighter as a result. I mean, Richard is very serious about all this, and he's working with and "integrating" the mental body, emotional body, and physical body, so I really dont feel he's picking only on me. I do feel more peaceful lately, less fearfull, quieter. I think this might not be a bad thing, to "let go", and "merge with the light, become the light", and all that. I see so much happiness outside of myself, in the life he's beginning to live, that I'll just relax I guess, and "go with the flow".