Normal
0

some days I feel happy and lonely and sad at the same time.
I love these days alot because they make me think about life and the big and little things in it.
 
I was daydreaming about what it would be like to be a monk or whatever. If I was born as one. I would probably not be much different from what I am now.
quiet and sitting down thinking about life.
The other monks would probably think I was a decent monk because I did what I was told and didn't disagree with anything.
 
I would think to myself without having ever read a single book that there is power in silence and wisdom in vagueness.
but then I would soon find out it doesn't compare to being truly alive.
 
Living the life as an everyday rational person is probably the best thing I could do to experience life like I should. I don't mean to get stuck in routine. Even though thats a thing I do. I don't feel trapped inside of it. in big lines its all a routine.
I lost the will to escape from the routine. Its not something I feel like I need to escape from.
 
I have my entire life ahead of me. it makes me feel good even if it was just a day.
everywhere I look now I see it. I don't see all the good in everything I don't see peace. I don't even see nature. I don't see murder.
I became indifferent, it doesn't mean my emotions have dead. I have them vigorously.
what it does mean is I am content with my own situation.
 
 
sorry if I'm too vague I just wanted to write down some abstract thoughts I was having. I wonder who will read it.