Bipolar Disorder is an illusion.
The diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder and the conventional medical and psychiatric treatment of it, are tools created by people who do not understand the experience or value of being a highly sensitive person and seek to 1) understand something they find baffling and 2) make highly sensitive people more like themselves.
The truth is, some people are born with a much higher sensitivity to spiritual energies, emotional energies, and environmental toxins. And they are born into a world that is built and mostly operated by non-sensitives. This world feels cold and cruel, irrational, toxic, and dysfunctional to them.
From a very young age, they have to find ways to deal with this constant pain. And one of the things they find most puzzling and distressing is that many of the people around them, and almost without exception their biological parents, DO NOT FEEL things nearly as much as they do. And when sensitives feel something nonsensitives don't, it's impossible to get them to understand that. And most of the time, not only do they not understand it, they reject it. It's not okay with them, because it's frightening. It's challenging. They don't know what to do about it. What do these "special" kids need, anyway? And they resent that these kids need something THEY didn't need, and that they didn't get. And they have few or NO tools with which to meet the needs of these kids.
They often use the same parenting tools with them that they had used on them. And many, many times, those tools were abusive and destructive for non-sensitive kids in the first place. So you take abusive, dysfunctional parenting strategies that hurt non-sensitive kids and use them on sensitive kids...and you get indescribable pain and damage.
Lynda Barry says it this way in her book, What It Is: "There are certain children who are told they are too sensitive, and there are certain adults who believe sensitivity is a problem that can be fixed in the way crooked teeth can be fixed and made straight. And when these two come together, you get a fairytale, a kind of story with hopelessness in it." She goes on to say, "We don't create a fantasy world to escape reality, we create it to be able to stay." What she is referring to is the sensitive child's propensity for make-believe and creativity, for drawing and acting and singing and dancing and painting and all other methods of creating something different from what they are being asked to tolerate.
And when adjustments are not made in the child's world, in their home and their education, in their environment, and when they are constantly told that their difference is a problem, and they are yelled at for it, beaten for it, mocked and tortured for it, the pain just builds and builds and builds. The child is in a truly intolerable situation that they cannot change, and eventually, they have no choice to but to react.
For some it happens sooner, and for others later. For most, each reaction gets worse and worse the longer they're in this world. Their moodiness, their passion, their creativity, their sense of injustice and anger at the world for abusing and rejecting them...it all peaks, and they shatter in a multitude of ways. Some take up weapons and seek to destroy their tormentors, like the boys at Columbine High School. Some turn to recreational drugs and sink into a numbed out haze of apathy and blessed insensitivity. Some turn their anger and despair inward and become depressed and suicidal. Some become highly anxious, unable to handle even the simplest, smallest stresses of daily life, their sensitive systems totally overwhelmed and burned out by the years of silent suffering. Some take blades to their arms and legs, seeking to both find a way to make their invisible pain visible, and to replace the intolerable emotional pain with the more tolerable distraction of physical pain. Some have a psychotic break, and their sensitivies and their brain chemicals finally permanently create for them a world different from the one they cannot handle. And some seek solace from the medical and psychiatric professions, and take psychoactive drugs that make them just not feel anymore.
The lucky ones find some powerful spiritual, creative outlet through which they can constantly bleed the pain and frustration out of their minds and bodies through art, writing, dance, or song. But most of these are constantly harassed, controlled, and even brainwashed into believing the path to happiness is through a good education, a regular job, a house and a car and a spouse and some kids. And so, desperately unhappy, and totally unsupported in their efforts to pursue creative and spiritual passions, they buy into this and try valiantly to go this route, a route that for them leads them further and further away from the one thing that would save them.
In the movie, Dead Poet's Society, a sensitive, brilliant prep school student, Neil, is under tremendous pressure from his family to go to an Ivy league school and become a doctor. But Neil discovers acting, and knows in his heart of hearts that nothing else will ever make him happy. He tries to tell his father, who informs him that he has no choice about this, he will go to medical school and only after that can he do whatever he likes. He makes it clear he will withdraw all support, emotional and financial, from Neil should he choose to pursue this ridiculous desire to be an actor. Feeling hopeless and trapped, Neil takes his father's gun and shoots himself in the temple.
I find it fascinating that this movie is so highly regarded, so celebrated, enjoyed by so many, sensitive and non-sensitive, and yet its message is totally lost on most of them. That message is this: For a sensitive, living someone else's idea of life is far worse than death. Nonsensitive parents can see and applaud this movie then go right home to their sensitive child and continue trying to force them to conform to their idea of what will bring them happiness.
You see, for a sensitive, living anything but their heart's desire is like living in a room with the lights off. And when they find their soul's direction, which ALWAYS involves creativity and world service, the lights suddenly come on and their lives make sense. And the more interference, abuse, and control they have to endure as they search for this heart's desire, or seek to follow it, the less likely they are to get there in one piece.
Life is not easy for sensitives, and their life purposes are almost always something on the very fringe of the non-sensitive society they live in. So the non-sensitives around them cannot understand, and usually do not support, their baffling choices for their lives. These choices put spirituality and creativity far above security and conformity. And so people who care about the sensitives worry that they will be destroyed by this unsafe world, that if they do not turn away from this radical spirituality, crazy creativity, and frightening non-conformist thinking, that this world will chew them up and spit them out. But what they do not understand is that for sensitives, the call of their heart, the PULL of their purpose, is a magnet within them that will never, ever stop drawing them onward. And that what will most certainly destroy them is to try to ignore it.
You see, sensitives have a crucial job, and that is to make the world a better place. Their job, their purpose, is to make the world a place that a sensitive can be safe and nurtured and happy in. And so they cannot allow anything to stop them. And they make the world better for the non-sensitives, too, even as those very same non-sensitives seek to destroy them for it.
What would Neil's father do without television entertainment to watch at the end of a hard day, fiction to read to take his mind somewhere else, music to listen to, art to hang on his walls, designers to create his fashionable business attire? Without those things, the world would not be worth living in for him, either. And yet when his son expresses the desire to be one of those who make this world worth living in, he is ridiculed, controlled, stopped dead in his tracks.
This world has destroyed sensitives for far too long. Non-sensitives have run roughshod over the planet and its inhabitants long enough, and if something doesn't radically change, everyone's choices will be taken away.
So it's time to stop stomping out the fire of the sensitive heart, and labeling the passion of the sensitive soul as a mental disorder, the spiritual clarity they receive as delusion and psychosis. It's time to LISTEN to the sensitives, and stop doing things the way they've always been done, and to put our highest priority on the heart and the soul, rather than the body and mind.
Non-sensitives aren't happy here, either. They're not healthy. This whole world is sick and sad and scary. And sensitives have the answer to this problem. Every sensitive person has a piece of the puzzle to put into place to SOLVE these problems that non-sensitives think are unsolvable and just go on tolerating, keeping their heads down and their mouths shut, just trying to survive.
"Feed the babies...who don't have enough to eat. Shoe the children...with no shoes on their feet. Talk to people...living in the street...Ohhhhh there's a solution."
A sensitive named Steve Miller wrote that. And he's right. Sensitives KNOW there's a solution. And they FEEL how horrible and shocking it is that it hasn't been found yet. Nonsensitives DON'T know there's a solution, and they don't feel compelled to keep looking for one, because they don't FEEL what we feel. They don't get the direct communications that we get, or they work very hard at numbing them out. But sensitives know it doesn't have to be this way. And more than that, they know how to make it better.
"That's just the way it is. Some things will never change. That's just the way it is. Awww...but don't you believe them." Another sensitive, Bruce Hornsby, telling us to stop buying the lie, stop listening to the nonsensitives. Of course it can change. Sensitives know how to change it!
But they cannot do it if you continue drugging and controlling and brainwashing and abusing them and shutting them up and stomping them down.
Yes, sensitives are often anxious or depressed, manic or exhausted. They are often plagued by aches and pains and physical maladies that are impossible to explain or heal with conventional, nonsensitive treatment. And yes, sometimes they need some of the tools of the nonsensitive world to help them make it just long enough to find the better tools with which they can actually solve the problem. But if they become content with these insufficient tools, they will never find their way to the real solutions. And so they remain ever discontent with the inadequate answers the nonsensitive world offers them. They have to. They are born to.
There is no question that sensitive people suffer deeply. But their pains, their high emotions, their instability...these things are not curses. They are blessings. Blessings to a world that is crying out for their help. Blessings that point sensitives in the direction of their individual purposes to heal that world.
They cannot stand the sight of an abused animal NOT because they need to take a drug that numbs that pain, but because they are here to stop that abuse. Their hearts break and bodies ache not because they need a chemical to mask these cries for help, but because they are here to figure out what their bodies are trying to tell them about what we and our souls need in order to heal, and what poisons are being fed to us day and night by people who do not feel what we feel and do not care.
Due to this world being run by those who are insensitive to the cries of their souls and the cries of their fellow beings and the cries of the planet herself, it's a soul-grinding, toxic place to live for most, sensitive and non-sensitive. And it's become painfully obvious that radical changes have to happen and they have to happen NOW, not tomorrow or next month or next year. So there are more and more sensitives being born every minute, and they are burning out at a much earlier age as this world refuses to listen to what their sensitive bodies, minds, and spirits are here to teach, and instead develops even more drugs to put out their fire, to force them into silence, to turn these brilliant, passionate, divine harbingers of salvation into nonsensitives, clones, and drones.
And those who have been sensitive for awhile, who have endured this world for years and years, are feeling, more acutely than ever, the pain everyone is in and their own pain at not having had the nurturance, support, and permission to follow their heart's longings all this time. The call of their hearts has become not a hesitant whisper in the night but a scream of alarm that sounds through them every second of every day. And every second that they are not allowed to answer it, to follow where it leads, is pure torture. They cannot endure it any longer. They MUST listen and follow, or they will die. And if they die, the world dies.
They need to be recognized. They need to be honored. They need to be supported, cared for, nurtured, helped. They need emotional, physical, and yes, financial support for their visions. They need loving, compassionate hands to finally take some of the burden of daily life, to do what they are NOT here to do so that they can do what they ARE here to do. They need to be listened to, and their inspirations acted on.
And at the very least, the very, very least, if they cannot get those things, they need to be left ALONE. They need an end to the well-intentioned advice, control, and brainwashing, the offers of medication, the pressure to conform and join the rest of the world in seeking only survival at any cost. They need nonsensitives to get out of their way.
They hear and feel things sensitives do not. They hear the desperate, escalating cries of the dying world. They feel the effects of their bodies' rejection of the toxic environment. And their hearts hear the now constant, unrelenting, impossible-to-ignore-any-longer calls from Spirit about what to do about it. And they have no choice, absolutely none anymore, but to listen. It is that or die. And if they die, they sign everyone's death warrant.
So stop calling them Bipolar or ADHD. Stop telling them they're sick and pumping their sensitive systems full of soul-killing, mind-numbing drugs. Stop calling them crazy, or unstable, or flaky. Stop telling them to stop all this insanity and just get a job, go the doctor, and live like you do. They can't. They won't. And if they did, we would all be very, very sorry.