in the many life times that weve all lived, we have been rich and poor, good and bad, black and white...
and in this incarnation some have been more fortunate than others...
some say the grass is greener on the other side, i have been on both sides and its all the same shit different toilet. i went from living in the projects to the suburbs, new york to florida, discriminated by the white people, the black people and even the spanish people because i am none of the above.I am a proud mixed brazilian! When i was younger and chubby, i was teased for being fat...then when i grew to be skinny instead of saying congratulations or good job, i was called a whore when i was a virgin, even people who i never met were talking about me. I have never been in love, and i have a series of failed relationships...every man i ever trusted or truly cared for has failed me in one way or another including my own father. I was molested by a stranger, someone who was getting paid to spray the house for bugs, someone who came into my room, in my bed, when i was home alone sleeping, and i will never see him again.... I have no best friend for me to confide in, to depend on, who knows everything about me because i have learned through experience that 90% of people are caught up in this illusion we call life, and they just care about themselves, money, and their image. Those that are dear to me are either in jail, prison, or dead. All i have is associates that really do not give a rats ass about me, i have no friends that i can talk about spirituallity with, and when i try to they think im insane, even adults think the same thing.The only person who has stuck by me through thick and thin is my beautiful mother. I am not allowed in regular school anymore...i dont know what im going to do with my life. ever since my accident i was put under a microscope in school, i was lied to and misled by teachers, principals, therapists, and neurologists. i was told i have adhd from a traumatic brain injury, which doesnt make any sense whatsoever. i was put in special ed when i had a college reading and writing level at the age of 13. i was put in a crazy kid school and taken out because they said i was normal. i went back to school only to get kicked out again after i was jumped by 3 girls, and the girl who did it ended up in the intensive care unit. i have been arrested and beaten by the police who are supposed to HELP the innocent. i have been arrested for somebody elses marijuana. i have been arrested for a pack of cigarettes. I have been called a spic, nigger, nigger lover, stupid bitch by these pigs. I have been underestimated my whole life, people are always thinking that im something that im really not. Even here on lightworkers. You can sit here and call me violent, angry, ignorant, rude. but until you have felt the pain that i feel, cried the tears that i do, loose the people you truly love, until you have been mentally and physically abused, and f**ked over by the system then you have no right, to tell me how to live my life. Its easy to throw the stones when youre not the one living in the glass house. Life is not about gum drops smiles. Life is suffering, this is real. I dont know what the after life will bring me, but i know what this incarnation has brought me. I am an activist, an anarchist, and a rebellious indigo.
THIS IS ME
take it or leave it.