Right now I am looking at my profile picture and i see something there...behind me and i dont know what this is?...

What do you think?....

I am right now talking about something i feel is important to blog about...its for the sake of my own healing...

I feel lonliness lately and i sometimes wonder why i keep losing the people i love? and it scars my heart so much i sometimes get obsessed with holding on to people i just met in school/internet or whatever...i give e-mails to my old friends from my senior year and hope that they will reach me...well 3 months had passed and i felt this sense of..i dont know like a oh well your lose...

It funny i think about my angels and i sometimes feel like....DONT LET ME GO!!!!...and its very odd as i am saying this...but im soooo tired to feel alone...and its not true that im alone and i try to beleive it.

I have these issues sense i was in elementry school...i lose them and i want to hold them..

Within my soul i speak this sense of... " I love humanity and i shall give them my light and i want to hold on to thier love they have given to me"..

Yes thats my soul speaking...

I dont like how i met someone and they never respond...its like well thats a waste of energy...

My purpose in this lifetime...like Chamuel told me... " You better serve your purpose to understand human experiences..."

And humanity is very attractive to my heart...sometimes the horrible stuff we experienced on T.V..is what gets me

like the Columbine shootings...

I was in 5th grade when it happened...but oddly this stuff happened and i never knew...then i was in 9 grade or something and i watched the horror in T.V one night...really dumb cause i get super scared at bedtime...

I was so obsessed with the book " Rachel Tears"..and watching the stuff on YouTube...my heart loved Rachel and this IS symbolic.. the 13 victims...13 apostols... I dont know..

Then there is other stuff like murder,rape,abuse,ect...

I sometimes act like the victim...even the killers

My purpose is to balance my human energies and earth angel energies...I desire to balance myself..

I want to attract love from people...lightworker or human...

Thats why i fall in love with people really easliy...REALLY

I want to love...and touch there heart..

I want a perfect soul-love and love him very much and i know i love my self very much to receive and give

I love every being and i want to give my light to the world!!!

im not kidden...lol

Love the UNIverse..as yourself

MaryLightStar