The more I work on myself and with others, the more I realise the importance of the act of choosing in the spiritual growth or ascension process. What Roberto Assagioli called The Act of Will. How do we make our choices, do we allow them to be made for us, are they conscious choices or are they driven by hidden desires, impulses, past influences or incorrect assumptions? When we make our choices are we in control of our decisions or are we on some sort of unconscious “autopilot”? How much of our decision making is taken away from us by our social and political systems in the name of “liberalism, political correctness, fear of litigation and fear of castigation by our acquaintances”? How much do we allow our choice making to be taken away from us by sloppy thinking and inattention to our feelings and intuition.

I believe that the most important thing that we can give to our children is the power of discernment, the ability to discriminate between good and evil, good taste and bad taste. The power to actually make choices using mind, body, feelings, intuition and imagination as well as listening to their needs and wants. Being able to discriminate between needs and wants. Of course we all need to do this for ourselves, to be able to set a good example to our children.

In his work on “The Will” Assagioli pointed out the different aspects of The Will. Goodwill, Strong Will and Clever Will. He also pointed out that when one of these aspects is missing there is an imbalance that can create great disturbance. For example a healer who has lots of goodwill, strong will and determination but maybe is not too clever in using it, takes on too much, does not give enough kindness to herself or himself. This can often result in burnout. Another example the tyrant or dictator who is very clever and manipulative with lots of strong will, but has a great lack of goodwill. The visionary who is very clever and full of goodwill but has not developed the the personal power or strong will to make the visions effective for the good of their own or others lives. We can probably see the negative and positive effects in ourselves.

The importance is that we cannot avoid making choices, even when we feel that we have no choice, that all choice has been taken away. This often the voice of the “inner victim” who can be most debilitating and frustrating to our spiritual and physical growth. I remember working with a student pianist who could not make a choice for her final degree project. A brilliant musician, theorist and writer who however, had, during childhood and later years, the ability to make choices crushed by her parents, so that she would do what she was told and marry a nice businessman. We went though an interesting “head game”. What will happen if you don’t choose a project? Reply “I won’t have a project? What will happen if you don’t have a project? Reply “I will fail my degree” How will you feel about that Reply “Rotten!!!” So if you choose not to choose a project, then you will be choosing to fail your degree and thence choosing to feel rotten!!! “Hmmmm” She made a choice, got a first class degree, never married a businessman and now runs a publishing company.

The point is that we cannot avoid choice making, even if the choice is not to make a choice; that is a choice in itself.

Very often we make choices using the word “should”. “What I should do”. This is often the voice of the internal critic or judge. The voice that we often use to beat ourselves and restrict ourselves with. The words that this voice uses have often been given to us by parents, teachers, peers, often for their own reasons or because of their own conditioning. The voice is often not our own. Here is a simple exercise. Whenever we hear ourselves using the word “should”...turn it into “could”. I should paint that wall, becomes I could paint that wall. Does it feel different? Then try “I could paint that wall if I choose” We can then put ourselves in a position of true responsibility, the ability to truly respond to a situation. It is OK not paint the wall because we have made a conscious choice, rather than being driven by the SHOULDS and then excuse, excuse, excuse. This has been one of the most liberating techniques given to me by Psychosynthesis and I am so grateful.

End of blog for now. I will soon be putting this exercise as a podcast on the Soul Psychology website www.soulpsychology.fi

Love, Light and happy choosing

David Oct 2009