goodness...theres a strange thing happening to me,which at first seems to be very mundane,but at secont sight has several levels to it.
In my job i only get paid when I ask for it,every 3-4 months,so there is always some acumulation going on and we have to calculate how much they owe me,resting taxes etc.
Today has been the day when I asked to be paid again and the accountant made the maths.
I was astonished to find out that it was less than I thought it would be.
At home I made my own maths and according to my calculator it is supposed to be significantly more.
Now,I dont know,is my mind cheating on me or is the accountant.
I am pretty sure I am right and suspect the accountant is wrong.
She is an extremely busy woman who is never really with you,answering phone calls and personal requests all the time...and I have been wrong before when I thought I was right...she gets upset in this situations
I am a very shy person who dislikes conflict...but I know that I have earned this money with my work,so I know I have all the rights to know why she is substracting so much of it...
Now...in spiritual terms I know that I am beeing provided for...I earn enough for us to live comfortly.
I dont need the "extra"money...it would be conflict over something I dont "need"
On the other hand my respect for myself (or is it my ego?) says I should claim what is mine.
Sorry,I feel so ridicoulous about this whole thread...
I am divinely provided for.The paycheck she is going to give to me is what I get if I take the path of less resistance...which does not mean so much struggle for myself.
Is that the right path?
It is around 10 days now that I am feeling a general lack of joy...and very exhausted...right now I have too many patients...too much work and too little time to be with myself...