Well, what DO you know...I got my duty roster today...just now, just a few minutes
ago. Didn't even recognize it for what it was at first. AND, I'm not sure how I feel
about it. I mean I had a plan, heck, more of a dream than a plan I guess...but I had
it. I liked my plan. A whole lot. Now maybe I'm not understanding my roster properly.
Maybe my waystation idea hasn't been deleted...maybe it will still manifest one day...but
geeze...I'm getting old here...and I've never been known for my patience. I thought when
my duty roster was assigned that would be it, the waystation...and it would all manifest
really quickly...you know, so I could get on with the work.

Perhaps there's a certain amount of injured ego involved as well. I mean I guess I thought
when I got my roster I'd suddenly begin doing something big and important. Seems instead I'm
supposed to do something little and important. AND it seems I'm already doing it. Have been
doing it.

OK, late freight maybe...shoulda recognized this ages ago. Kept looking for the duty roster
to come down and didn't even notice that it was not only already here, but I was already fulfilling
my duties. I guess, to be honest, I didn't feel that I WAS doing anything...imagine my surprise
to find out today I had it right all the time.

All I have to do is be here. That's it. Just be here. My job is to be an ear...a shoulder to lean
on...calm in the storm. That's it...that's the message I got so clearly just awhile ago. I don't
know if there's a title for this particular job...but it seems that's my assignment. That's
pretty much all I do anyway...be here for folks. You know, Mother, Wife, Friend, Cook...the lady who
knows how open cans of pet food and put out birdfood. Now it's official.

Thinking about it now, I realize that for the past few months more and more folks are coming to me
with...not their problems exactly...not asking for me to fix anything. It's more like they are drawn
to me for some reason. Maybe I have finally reached a light quotient that shines outward? I dunno.

Interesting stuff...still haven't had time to sort it all out for myself...but it's always nice to
get some sorta validation that your path is headed in the right direction.

yarra