First I want to say how wonderful it is to be inspired by the writings of others. It’s those who share with honesty and from the heart that not only inspires us to do the same, but also helps us to heal. So many wish they could “channel” or “heal” and may even wonder what they have to contribute to the Ascension process, when at times it’s as easy as sharing where you Are. There will always be someone who needs to know they're not alone. There will always be someone who will be “awakened” in one way or another, by someone else’s personal sharing. So, thank you to those who have inspired and helped me heal this week.

That being said, it was a blog that reminded me of how many of us took on the “job” of processing the emotions of our families. It’s been said that we were “transmuting, shedding Light on, buffering,” etc. They say, “They” being books and channeled messages, that many of us “chose” to be in families where there was a lot of “transmuting, Light shedding and buffering" to be done.

About 15 years ago I was going through the beginning stages I guess, of “leaving loved ones behind.” I was no longer in touch with family, and the learning of lessons and healing had begun. I now had the time to read, learn, go to school and do many things that would probably not have been possible if I was still in touch with family. Most of my time was spent “saving” those I loved and it was now time to save “me.” It wasn’t easy at first to have no one calling and/or knocking on my door “wanting” but I finally learned to relax and take care of myself and my own little family. Life was good and easy, as it should be.

It wasn’t until my family started to trickle back into my life a few years later that I had a “light bulb moment” that was so huge my childhood pretty much flashed before my eyes. While I was on my own, due to that latest bout of abandonment, I no longer had a purse. All of my adult life I carried such a big one that people would even ask, “What do you have in that thing?” Instead I had a belly bag strapped to my waist whenever I was out. It started with just trips to the park with the dog, but soon it became my “purse.” I didn’t need much-my license, some cash, credit cards, some mints, and house keys. Things like that; the basics. Now that those relationships were being rekindled, I found that I was slowly but surely carrying a big purse again. I realized on that day, that the answer to “What do you have in that thing?” was, “Any and everything. You need it? I've got it.” While it was literally true, there was more to it than that.

I realized at that moment that I had “carried the baggage” of my family not only in my childhood but also into adulthood. I was still taking on more than my own “stuff” and transmuting/buffering it. On a subconscious level, I was “carrying” so much more than what was needed or belonged to me. I was so shocked with this new understanding that I called my cousin who I was very close to and who was walking a very similar path. When I shared all of this with her, she says, “Oh my God! That is a trip! This is HUGE! You know what my purse is? You know what I lug to work each and every day and have for years? A bag ON WHEELS!” She went on to describe it and it sounded like a little mini piece of luggage. She went onto share that she had things like books, food, and even extra clothing that she took to work every single day and had been for years. When I asked her why the books and clothes her answer was, “I have no idea.” She too had a crazy childhood as well as painful adulthood and was the one who “chose” to Lighten the load with her Earth family.

When my family was back for another “spurt” of closeness, I found myself once again not able to leave the house without a nice-sized purse. It’s been a few years now that we've been out of touch again. This “round” has been a lot harder to deal with for some reason. Maybe because this time I decided I needed to pull away for my own health and sanity. Before it was always them deciding they were “done” with me when I dared not be available or think of myself first. I think it’s taken longer this time because there is always, in the back of my mind, the fear that maybe I’ve made a mistake by choosing to disconnect. Maybe it's the guilt that I carry inside of my still large and very full purse.

No matter what the reason is, I've decided to start envisioning the day when I no longer carry the extra weight. The reality is that I no longer have to carry anymore than I need for my own comfort and safety; literally and figuratively.

How big is your purse/wallet?