Ya know, it's really easy to understand how folks get caught up in this
whole ascension process and get single visioned. The self is so elusive,
so hard to find, pin down, and indentify in our minds. I dunno about anyone
else but I could quite cheerfully spend the next...I dunno...days for sure
and maybe weeks...totally removed from everything 3D just to have time to
figure all this business of self out for once and all. Course that isn't real
likely to happen is it...so we just do what we can in our private, quiet, moments.

Everything seems to start in one place, then become this huge spiral/circle...then
you end up back in the same place you started from...changed maybe...expanded...but
ultimately, right back here in our 3D bodies and our 3D world. When this whole process
started I thought I knew who I was...but of course I had it all wrong. I saw myself as
this limited, separate being, and now I know that's not true. Along the way to here
I integrated/merged 144 aspects of self...now THAT was an experience...absolutely jam
packed with selves...selves that all seemed to have different ideas at the same time,
and all wanted to be heard.

After a time, and it seemed bloody AGES...the selves sorta blended and merged together,
still a whole lotta opinion giving going on, but someone was 'chairing' the meetings and
things went along a whole lot smoother. So at this stage, I went from being one self, the
3D personality self, thinking I WAS my body...to this incredibly complicated multi-dimensional
self...with all the self(s) in there, trying to figure out a way to merge into Oneness.
One of those circles...from one to many...and back to one (sorta) again. I guess for awhile
I went around thinking BY JOVE! She's done it! I actually thought I was 'finished' for awhile
there.

Not bloody likely...no sooner did I begin to feel like one self again...new upgraded self that it
was...WHAM! The 'not even close' signal came through. OK...I like my AH HAs...a whole lot...so I
was ready to take the next step. Well, I THOUGHT I was ready. What came next...to use an ole
sixties phrase...blew my mind. I found my BIG self...the self that IS Universe. Believe me, this
will knock you right outta your socks, if you haven't been there yet. Hold on tight, best ride
in the park so far. I say that alot don't I? Well, it just keeps on getting better.

So I had my work cut out for me...I've been blogging most of my experiences, so I won't repeat any of
the AH HAs...but believe me it is MAJOR. Anyway, so I spent some time on figuring how to do the
whole merge/integrate thing with my big self. Now this is gonna sound pretty silly, and it's
probably just that I have a very graphic mental movie system in my head...but the big self doesn't
fit inside the 3D body. Seems we can go deep inside ourselves and sorta pull the other self(s)
into our actual physical body...they sorta take up residence in here with us...but the big self,
the Universal Self doesn't fit in. You gotta 'go' there...at least for now. It feels like we are
capable of experiencing Oneness with All, but can't completely BE that yet.

Here's how I reached that conclusion. Ya know how when you're going into meditation you have to
sorta 'get yourself together'? Bring your thoughts and imagination and everything into line so that
you can still the mind? Well, touching the Universal Self is sorta like that. It's always there,
just like the meditative state...but you have to consciously connect up to it. It's not just 'in there'
like the multi-dimensional selves. Well, it IS in there, but you gotta shift frequencies to see it...
feel it...be it. Think of it as you think of a memory...it's always there in your programming, but it
doesn't pop up automatically, it requires action of mind to bring it to the main screen. Well, Universal
Self seems to be like that.

For me it's like there's a movie theater in my head. When I'm sitting quietly in the comfy recliner seat,
popcorn in hand, Universe drops on in and allows itself to be experienced...my Universe at least. So
I had to figure out if there was a way to get around AS my Universal self...you know...feel like that all
the time. Know so much stuff all the time...have that level of awareness in my normal 3D life.

So I examined our executive flow chart...took a look at what aspects of my self were doing the main
driving around here. I found three main 'in charge' selves in there. One was the body...doing all the
body stuff it's required to do to keep the show on the road...the mind had a little department...the
what's out there what can I learn? self...and the multidimensional self...who appears to be the observer
in all of this. OK, that seemed to follow the normal way of things...but I wanted ONE self in there,
not three...pulling my attention in three different directions. So I quieted mind, told the physical
body and mind to get with the program and narrowed it down to the point where there was one self left. The
self that is what I call the Neutral Observer.

So I spent some time pulling myself together into One self...and as soon as I did that, Universal
Self was right there, like it had just been waiting for me to notice it. So far I can't actually hold
myself in that space for very long. It's so exciting to my mulit-dimensional self that it keeps on
taking a step back and looking at it...you know, pulling itself apart from the Oneness. I'm working
on that. I hope to learn to hold myself there, first during meditation, then ALL the time.

I guess when you stop and look at, I'm doing a handy job of ascending here...I mean I went from one
self, limited and separate, to 144 selves, back into one self again and now that one self is seeking
unity with Universe. Geeze, sounds like a breeze when you put it like that, huh? Circles within
circles, ever spinning round.

What's next? Well, I dunno, heck I don't KNOW anything...I don't suppose any of us really do, we are
making this up as we go along...but I think when we can hold ourselves in Universal Awareness all,
or at least most of the time...that's probably when we will have all our ducks in line and begin the
actual physical body ascension into 5D or higher. HA...I sound like a gypsy fortune teller, don't I?

For right now it seems I am pretty much boiled down to two aspects of self...the multi-dimensional
self that walks around in 3D...the ego self...and the Universal Self. Somebody posted a blog the other
day about the merger of these two last selves...so there's hope for me yet.

yarra