Hi to everyone.

Today, my mother and sister had a nice arguement - during which mom told her how much she hates that she wears nail polish (different colored) and her dressing style. Sister (she's my twin so we both are seniors in high school), told her that "it doesn't matter, I'll be leaving in 8 months anyway!".
Then mom told her how she doesn't want to see any nail polish or the hair style she uses.

This of course made me think about society. All of you here know that I'm very philosophical ; and to this date I've been able to successfully oppose society's rule.

I've been able to oppose it. My sister hasn't. I don't feel sorry for her - it's not a bad thing (it teaches lessons just as much as seaking the truth and enlightenment would teach), but really it makes me wonder: She has full sight. I'm totally blind.

One of mom's comments during this argument was, "you look like just the devil. You know, Tomi (me) was born in darkness but you became dark on your own choosing.". Of course, as a heavy christian, the devil is in everything that's not normal.

So of course this is how society traps you in. They tell you they don't like your style and to change - and of course you must change. If you resist change, all sorts of smites and fammons will come your way (not to sound historical or biblical here).

But why have I been able to avoid this? Is this just luck of the draw or did I, and my twin sister, choose during reincarnation: "I will not be able to avoid society's lare." or "I will seak spiritual knowledge."
It's a sad situation, really. I wish my sis knew what unconditional love is and what it means to do something for someone even if you don't like that person or don't favor them. I often help her with English and other things while this morning she told me "I'm not taking your ass down the driveway just to get to the schoolbus! I want to sleep in 2 hours because my classes don't start until 9!".

I feel like an observer here. While I know I have my own set of lessons to learn (they never end), I don't know how to react here. All this makes me want to think: Why couldn't sister avoid fitting in? Does being blind really give me an advantage? I don't want to feel like it does - I don't like thinking that just because I'm blind I avoid society. I'm not for being advantaged over others. Are there other sighted people (kids) who have overcome their parent's repeated and fruitless "I don't like you, so change!" attempts? How is it determined if you are going to be able to bypass all of these "lockdown" mechenisms to the material world?

Please help me with this, I know I'm going to have a war going inside my head soon over what to think. My sis said that in 8 months it won't matter how she looks - but is that really just her way of saying "oh, nobody will change me!" and 8 months later in college she will find herself staying the same?

With love and light-
Zahaku
or Tomi