my crazy dreams strike again.
usually after doing the ascension treatment meditation before bed, i have interesting dreams but lately i haven't been able to remember them- which is unusual for me. last night was different though...i dreamt there was a revolution of some sort...a coup d'etat had taken place & i was placed in a position of power although i couldn't believe it. i even made a calvin & hobbes joke about it in my dream- "what am i? dictator-for-life now?!"
the other weird part was someone i consider a soulmate showed up again after a very long absence. in the past, he'd show up in my dreams & always tried to tell me something but couldn't...this time he was able to tell me and we seemed to be together...although i was still with my husband too & both knew! crazy! not sure what that's all about. it was very hard to cut the cord with this person & even after, it took serious violet flame meditations to feel peace & not pain with this person. the nice thing about the dream is this peace remained. i felt the connection but not the power struggle. it used to be that after he'd show up in my dreams, i'd suddenly get an email from him about something random- that was how weird the connection was. i'm not expecting one but i wouldn't be surprised if i had entered into his thoughts for some reason.
which makes me think of soulmate relationships in general... people seem so eager to have one & yet it's not what they think. from my experience, it's one of the most amazing, frightening, and difficult relationships i've ever had. yes, there is the sense of being with the "other half" of your soul, but that isn't always a pleasant experience! both ugly & beautiful things in yourself will be reflected back to you & it requires a hard look in the mirror. sometimes the other person doesn't want to look into that mirror, which is YOU...or vice versa. what also seems to happen is a strong anger when one of you chooses a different response, a different idea or a different path from the other, no matter how seemingly insignificant. there seems to arise a feeling of betrayal that is stronger than what the situation calls for. or how about the shock(and often anger!)at being in a mutually telepathic/empathic relationship? most people probably think that would be just wonderful, but it is unnerving & frustrating when dealt with immaturely and/or one person is very negative, moody, and/or addicted to substances.
i have had 2 soulmate relationships, through friendship & romantic relationship...i don't think that makes me special & i'm not saying i'm an expert... but i do think that maybe people don't recognize a soulmate relationship for what it is. of course, not all soulmate relationships are negative, not at all...but i have to resist the starry-eyed romanticism which most people seem to lend towards the whole affair. i would even venture to say that the whole point of these relationships is to be thoroughly prodded & provoked in your evolution by someone equally armed, so to speak. but that's just my opinion.
a few wks ago, my soulmate through friendship showed up again in my dreams after dropping in a wk earlier. the first time, she was angry with me(normal) but then confused as to why i wasn't angry with her & why i was in fact, inviting her to my b-day party. the second time, she wasn't angry with me & decided to bring her newly adopted kids to a party with my family.
i take this as a good sign that my feelings of peace toward them have indeed taken root in my soul.