today in my country, we are celebrating christmas.

i must admit that i never got the "Christmas Cheer" nor did i get the "Christmas Spirit". however, the goddess has been speaking to me weeks before... the call became stronger and stronger as time passed by.

i must admit also that it was only because of her that i have survived all of the things that i went through recently. it was such a rocky road but it is all worth it for me.

she has sent me my bestfriend, Berna... to comfort me during these troubled times and showed me the lessons of my life... she is a firm yet gentle, quick but patient teacher. i really want to thank her.

she thought me that the things that i am feeling right now... is not an alien thing... or something that is so unique... in fact, out there somewhere... maybe not even in this earth, someone shares it with me... as much as i also feel for someone out there in the world.

i guess i felt so "highly important" and needed to be humbled. i keep on telling myself that "no one understands me" or "i am the only one who suffers like this. but THAT IS WRONG...

when i watched the avatar... i have finally "seen" what it means that everything and everyone is connected. i hear and read this all the time here in lightworkers.org but i never understood what it meant... i have seen it in avatar ... the whole "connection" thing... it is so wonderful and peaceful... but how come i have not felt it in my heart?

not until today...

my bestfriend was a little sick. so she and i decided to rest in the morning of christmas. she slept on the bed and i slept next to her. i placed my head near hers and wrapped her around my arms.

then it happened... "the connection"... i felt it. well not with the whole world... but at least with my bestfriend. an unexplicable connection... memories... energies... shared. it was just a simple hug... but the connection was there.

afterwards, i went to church with my bestfriend. there was a part in the mass that you have to kneel in front of the Lord... and i did... and i touched my heart... and i felt it... a little... at least in that community... a connection... the connection...

slowly i feel that my soul is unravelling somehow... that a huge difference is being made... it is so exciting and weird and fun and wowza kind of feeling lol i can't even begin to describe it... it's like i am seeing the world in a whole new light... again...

it's weird but good weird...

haha my blog is not even coherent enough to describe what i want...

to say what i want...

but to sum it up...

christmas's gift to me --- the gift of connection. ^^

well little by little it happens. ^^