today, i have realized what i needed...

the past few weeks was confusing. with work being such an ass... my family for "sucking really bad" and well my general life to not be a happy thing...

however, the goddess was a patient mentor to me... i must admit... during those weeks, i grew close to her... even learned to call on her to help me with problems and stuff.

i have casted a few spells for cleansing and banishing. i did some rituals too... i am now becoming more and more mindful of my calling to do spiritual stuff to care for my soul.

i am now honoring my needs to connect with the Divine and with the great energy out there... it's really a "spiritualizing" process... if there is even a word for it. lol.

anyway, earlier... as i mindfully and carefully read titles of books in the new age section... my senses have guided me to the inspiration section. i have found a book there titled, "living a charmed life"... it almost have the same title of Patricia Telesco's book "A charmed Life"... but the earlier book mentioned was done by a non-wiccan person, which is cool.

it has a great cover and it seems like it's a good and light read, but what interests me the most is one section there... something about "me being worth it..."

my self love factor, as anyone would have noticed in my previous blogs, are really low... but since i have been slowly connecting with the world, it seems like the universe is giving me a message...

s/he's reminding me that i am worth it... that i am also light and that... i am part of a great Divine Plan out there... that i'm important, no matter how small i am... for i am part of a greater architectural "being"...

something like that. ^^

afterwards, i have started browsing for other books and found other great books to read... but then i have realized, that the "realization" doesn't end there. in fact, when i went to the register, i have realized that i have already bought... 4 books, and it did cost a specific amount of money that i do not usually do...

but when i do, i know... that i am depressed and unhappy...

and when my boyfriend was driving.... i was looking at him and i felt at peace with myself... maybe it was the open road on a first day after christmas... but...

i have realized what i really needed... the solution to all my problems...

I NEEDED AN ESCAPE... i needed a space and time where i can be alone for a minute... listen to myself and think... without my bestfriend lying around... feeling bad about herself... without my family bugging me about money matters and jealousy of siblings... without my job being such a dorky ass~!!! lol...

I WANT TO ESCAPE THIS SITUATION... IT NO LONGER WORKS FOR ME...

i must now face the fact that i need to attract something new... something that i really wanted...

will my bestfriend be okay with it?

spiritual hugs.