It can be easy to get caught up in the negative things that humans do...but the human spirit is a beautiful thing to behold.
We can take our creativity,our skills, our emotions, our drive,and our courage and do things that seem impossible...supernatural even...
Went through yet another incredibly tough emotional release today.
(In fact kinda still going through it in a way.)
You know the type of release I mean.
It's like a hand reaching within my self and pulling all the emotion out...the guts of the emotions even...
Not me stuff any longer.
Afterwards I realized that crying makes me happy, in a weird way.
I often times catch myself caught in a negative mind loop.
Before I know it my thoughts drift into what I call "a bad neighborhood."
Often times these thoughts center around beliefs about myself.
Apparently there are still issues of low self-esteem within me.
My mind runs away with thoughts that are really not me anymore.
I have to be honest and say I have no idea of where I am right now.
But it is not where I was.
For the energies of this world are completely different.
The world feels completely different to me.
And honestly I am a mess.
I seem to be off balance.
Last week I kept leaning to the left.
That same day the same thing happened to my lightworker friend when we were at the beach.
"God" and I have had a very complicated relationship over the years.
Growing up, I didn't even know the word agnostic.
I thought everyone believed in God.
My belief in God was very innocent.
He was a little old man, kinda like Santa,but not with a belly...
Sitting on a throne made of gold, with angels flying all about...
That was my "catholic" god.
So last week I was learning how to surf these wild energies that have been bombarding me.
Feel like I am getting massive downloads...
On Thursday I was feeling pretty confident about my surfing abilities.
Staying in my heart, not getting caught up in all the changes that are occurring all around me...
My first day of my new job was pretty awesome indeed, I was flying high...
It has been a highly energized couple of days for me.
Being bombarded, ( yes that it what it feels like to me) by waves of energy rushing in.
I feel as if these are almost physical waves, that are going through me.
Very strong energies.
Remember the old television cartoon that showed a radio tower emitting sound waves?
Circles emanating from the top of tower?
That's not me.
Yes I know I am one of those from the Light and Fluffy Love Brigade...at least that is what my kids and family say...lol!
Always the love light hippie...
But I gotta tell you, I am so excited about the coming year!
I know things are horrifically awful in so many parts of the world...but change starts with one person at a time.
I feel the time for change is here now.
I continue with this cold...it started as a scratchy throat in Peru and has jumped back and forth between my lungs, my throat and my chest.
The symptoms...all that of a cold, yet my body doesn't necessarily feel sick...very strange feeling indeed.
But the moments of clarity, the connection to all that is around me has changed.
I have never felt like I fit in on this beautiful earth.
Even as a small child.
Something was missing, it just didn't feel like Home.
Been searching for that feeling of Home all my life.
That loving feeling that signifies Home and all my loved ones.
That feeling I knew existed yet seemed so elusive.
Tonight it hit me.
I realized I no longer felt ill at ease here on this earth.