Exactly one year ago I opened up a dialogue with the lightworkers here on this site, and today I’d like to honor all you have given me. Normally I’m very private with my thoughts and feelings, (I still haven’t been brave enough for ventrilo), but from the moment I first visited this page , I easily opened my heart, my soul and mind to the incredible individuals here.

Okay, I don't know what it is but something very heavy has been going on since September that is shaking most of us to our cores. Regardless of how far along the spiritual path you may have felt you've come, if you're like me, the last two months have seen the return of some very old, and ugly emotions.

What is this feeling? Is it fear? Doubt? A lack of confidence? Or am I just tired and need to rest now? I need to be nurtured right now. I feel vulnerable and unsure of myself. Fragile. I desire to curl up in the fetal position have someone gently stroke my hair. Is that weakness? Aren’t we entitled to the occasional weakness?

Today is 09/09/09. I don't know much about the spiritual significance of this, but I do know that repeating numbers have played a big part in my ability to learn the "language of the universe," so I decided to seize the moment and manifest at 9:00 a.m.

Recently, I've gone from feeling incredibly empowered and light-bearing to feeling doubtful and out of touch with the Divine connection. I feel as if I'm somehow isolated in some dark chamber. The light's not completely gone, but I can only catch a fleeting glimse of it from time to time and never actually catch it in my hands.

I just got back from a family vacation and I wouldn’t say it was a disaster, but I wouldn’t call it a success either. For the last few months we’ve all been so busy that they’ve barely seen each other, so I really wanted to reward all of our hard work with some fun together time.

Okay, the new me is simulaneously allowing, and grumpy. Yin and Yang not only present, but kind of "up in each other faces." Here's what I mean...
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What a strange and aimless time this has been...
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Even as I attempt to write this blog, words feel like distant strangers to me. Yet I'll try to express my thoughts.
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Just curious about how many lightworkers have been affected by auto-immune issues. After years of being fatiqued and achey, (typical ascension symptoms, I know), I finally discovered that my body is making all these anti-bodies that it's not supposed to make. It's as if my own system is "fighting" against itself.
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I'm a writer and I'm so busy at the moment that I have no business writing this blog, but I've learned to be moved by inspiration and feel compelled to share, so here goes...

All my life I felt an almost annoying nudging toward something that I was "supposed" to do. I had no idea what it was, yet it was constantly tapping me on the shoulder making its presence known.