Yo Master

Yo Master so dozy he thinks channelling is something you use a tv remote for.

Yo Master so dense he thinks ascension involves going up in an elevator.

Yo Master so dippy he thinks enlightenment 
is something you get by flicking on the light switch.

Yo Master so stupid he thinks communing with spirits 
involves a long night out in Baltimore 
with two bottles of vodka, half a bottle of tequila, 
and a bag of pretzels as companions.

Yo Master such a muppet he assumes that quantitative easing 
is something that he needs to do to get back into his kafni 
after an evening out on the biryanis, lassi and jalebis.

Yo Master so daffy he thinks that archangels come 
from a small Russian city 700 miles to the north of Moscow.

Yo Master so foolish he believes that the seven main planes
are Delta, United, AA, Continental, Air Canada, SkyWest and Southwest.