LOVING DIFFICULT PEOPLE
~Channeled by Bartholomew Forester~
Very often in life we come across difficult people. I regard difficult people as being; ''those amongst us whom we find it hard to get along with.''
Difficult people come in all ages, races, and sexes. When I use the term ''difficult people'', I do not believe that being difficult is a permanent personality trait. Although, some people do seem to be difficult the whole of their lives, I believe that being a difficult person is usually a temporary state, and so people often go through phases when they become difficult at various stages in their lives. Every difficult person has the potential to think, act, and behave otherwise.
Most of us live or work closely with someone whom we regard to be a difficult person. What makes the difficult person most difficult to deal with, is that they seem to be against us, and this can make us feel that the difficult person is causing us misery. Difficult people tend to come across as very selfish, and only interested in getting their own needs met. This can make them less likely to compromise, and often it seems that they do not even try to see things from anyone else's point of view. For a caring, and giving person, who believes in equality and sharing, the difficult person can evoke feelings of anger, due to their ego-centric attitude. The difficult person is usually happy to impose themselves upon others, yet they are unwilling to give an inch to anyone else. The difficult person will do anything to get their way, this may often including lying and cheating.
If the difficult person is your child you may find her unbearable, if the difficult person is your boss you may find her detestable, if the difficult person is your sister you may find her unlovable, if the difficult person is your parent you may find them annoying, if the difficult person is your partner you may find them frustrating. Whenever we are in a relationship with a difficult person, we can often find our spirits have been dampened to a high degree, and that we have been left feeling full of negativity, or resentment.
The difficult person is like a wounded animal, they are people who are fundamentally hurt deep down and do not feel that they are worth very much. In order to feel better about themselves they often use other people. For this reason the difficult person chooses to engage in behaviours that are labour intensive for other people, they often demand that others bend over backwards to please them, but refuse to give back very much in return.
Difficult people feel that they are owed good treatment and hence demand that others have a duty to treat them well. This attitude can lead the difficult person to become very angry if their needs are not met, and when their inappropriate actions are not forgiven without question.
The path to dealing with a difficult person is varied, as each difficult person has their own reason for being difficult, however, there is one common starting place and that starting place is love. Difficult people challenge us to give love regardless. They challenge our ability to engage in unconditional love. Many will ask, ''but how can I love someone who is go disagreeable? How can I love someone who has hurt me?'' The answer is very simple, you just do.
The problem that many people face when dealing with a difficult person, is understanding exactly what love is. Giving love does not mean laying down and becoming a willing victim of another person's abuse, nor does it mean giving in to all of the difficult person's demands. Often dealing with difficult person can put us upon the path towards discovering exactly what true love is.
It is important to understand that, even though most of us perceive difficult people as being bad, this is often us being negatively judgemental, if we look at the situation differently we will see that there is a beautiful thing about difficult people. Difficult people challenge us to rise above our limitations.
Dealing with a difficult person, may require you to work that bit harder, and feel that bit more emotion, whether anger or otherwise. This extra effort or extra feelings cause us to step outside of our comfort zone, and it is outside of our comfort zone that we experience the greatest amount of development. It is in this place that we learn that we are able to bear what we previously thought unbearable.
Difficult people challenge us to learn through our interactions with them, whether we want to or not. Whether we do learn or just go away feeling victimised and unappreciated is entirely up to us. Difficult people offer us the opportunity to look at a situation a little deeper, than just the surface words that are being said and the surface feelings that are being evoked.
Our interactions with difficult people have the potential to show us our limitations. They can show us where our boundaries are set and where we place our edges. Edges and boundaries are not physical, but rather psychological and emotional, this is because we choose where to draw the line, whether consciously or unconsciously.
Our interactions with difficult people have the potential to show us where we set our limits, in terms of what we are willing and unwilling to accept. Our interactions with difficult people have the potential to show us our beliefs about ourselves, and deeper investigation of this is a very valuable tool when it comes to understanding our own spiritual nature.
Every difficult person you come into contact with, has a message to bring you, whether you are able to hear the message and absorb the lesson, depends upon how much you are willing to see. We all have the ability for clairvoyance (clear vision), and psychic learning, however, what we learn is determined by how much we are willing to see.
Sometimes we feel that we are open to seeing and learning, however, we may still find it difficult to see. Sometimes it requires time and further events before we become truly open and our vision becomes clear. Sometimes we require guidance from another to see things in a different way. The route that we choose to take to find answers and clarity in our lives is entirely up to us.
Summary For Dealing with Difficult People
1. We find difficult people difficult because of the way that we choose to view them.
2. Difficult people are wounded deep down.
3. Difficult people can help us to understand our own spiritual nature.
4. Difficult people can lead us onto the path of developing true and unconditional love.