| manonviviane | 
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Any advice is welcome, any comment, any feedback, I'm open and hungry for truth and answers!
Female - 27
Gatineau, Qc, Canada -Canada
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 manonviviane`s Blog
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I AM...
I love this moment, and I finally feel open to it. I always been very, very calm and joyful... but people overwhelmed me a little because I'm easliy penetrated and deep inside, nervosity is boiling. Even thow no one notices it from the outside. But now, when people could be overwhelming, I let their noise and moves go deep into me, and it is like waves of sounds or movements that tickle me, even if no one touches me... and I love it. As long as I'm warm and not hungry, it's peaceful. And as long as no one does BOOO! to me, because this, I don't tolerate yet. :S
EXPRESSION
Sometimes, I feel my expression is blocked if others are not present and open. I'm too yin.. I'm working on my 5th chakra. Seems like I have a voice as subtle as an intuition. People have to pay attention in order to notice me. And when they do, it's like they seen a Fairy! They get surprised of what comes out from me. People don't listen to me... and I have wisdom to share... but I don't insist. Sometimes I do insist... And sometimes, I can sense that people have a blockage to receive any messages. Then, I don't say anything, I let go as long as it doesn't concern me. When it does concern myself, I struggle sometimes to make a yang effort and take my place! That's just where I am... But when my 5th chakra heals, and when I'm with friends who are concious cristal beings in becoming, or with certain children, I start talking with my heart and...... I succeed into sharing the beautiful impressions of truth I feel about stuff like.. about the person in front of me, space, time, people, life. I deeply understand others. Sometimes, I even LIVE in others... not a long time, just enough to understand what their situation is. I don't think it is profoundly psychic yet.
In Amerindian oracles, I'm the deer. The only one who is allowed to enter the guarded cave, the cave where the Great Spirit hides and lives. The monster that guards that cave won't allow anyone to go through. But the deer, whenever he wants, looks at the monster in the eyes... and... just with the way he is, open hearted and harmless, convinces the monster to let him go in. So the deer goes, and talks with The Great Spirit...
When people finally stop and just talk with me, they instantly know that they can open sincerely, and I do this. I mostly listen, and when I feel allowed, I say words that might heal... or not. Words that they might have not listened if they didn't let their guards down and explored their inside world. And they get bribs of healing, or see clear. Some of you might know what I'm talking about.
EVOLVING
I'm looking further to ascend and it is my first priority in spirituality and carreer. I've been working on myself all my life, a neverending climb up into the depths of my soul. Witing a huge diary, feeling enlighted by passionating insights about myself's analysis, sharing with professionnals... But also struggling sometimes, crying 7 times a day, meditating in the night instead of sleeping, or skipping school... I studied a lot, but my problems with the 'symptoms', as I know them now, stopped me and got me into a couple depressions for a while. Now I'm fine, I took all the time I needed to explore my inner world and ... despite my carreer's crash, I feel I won bigger than a profession I could be proud in the outside. I'm not saying it's the best to do because during this time, I was still in a quest for happiness instead of just being, sensing the journey. It still worked for me, because as I kept discovering about different parts of myself, analysed, accepted and just became, I AM NOW, finally. As I grew in knowledge and ability about how to live healthy, my heart stayed the same. I let the superficial die.
RELASHIONSHIPS
Passionate, I have a profound connection with children, they are sacred to me in a way that goes beyond. And they are extremely attracted to me as well. Same for any child's heart.... I wish childhood was a long welcoming party on Earth. That is what we naturally feel, but some childhoods are too ordinary, it breaks my heart. I want to be the aunt, the neighbour, the old friend that makes them feel they are loved and important, not only loved by their parents, but also by adults that do not HAVE to love them. Love is not a feeling, it is an action, an engagement towards one in order to evolve, or make him evolve (Scott Peck). If a child has someone like this around him, he will grow up having a bigger self confidence and self esteem, and less depressoin in his life. He will always remember that when he was kid, someone knew he was special. That counts a lot. Also, although it is necessary to explain to them how it is on the other side of their childhood, raise them as adults in other words, I wish every adult shows them to listen to THEIR feelings and intuition, to remember where they come from and who they are, how to stay in contact with their soul. I teach children yoga and meditation when the parent accepts. Yoga is not only a sport, it is a way of living on a day to day basis: eating, sleeping, breathing..
I love to give, and give unconditionnally to the one that needs. Still, I found my limits and respect them at my own pace. | | Spiritual Path |
I seem to have a hummingbird energy!
| | Creating |
IN THE FUTURE, I WANT TO:
be able to channel, see auras, read palms, read people like an open book in order to heal better. About channeling, I saw bad spirits when I was 2... which was traumatizing. They told me how mean I was, and how it was a shame I'm born... I think I'm just not ready to see any, partially because of it maybe. I sometimes have visions of beings thow. I want to see the light beings, but not the rest, even if I feel compassion towards non-beneficial entities. They might need compassion.
ALSO:
Massage therapist, Reiki, Feng Shui, Astrology and Yoga teaching.
| | Awakening |
Since forever, kind of.
Many signs that I was "special"... I'm still searching where I come from, so if any has a guess, go ahead!
-I clearly remember many parts and situations of my childhood since the age of 2, and sometimes 1. And I think I remember in my Mom's belly, but it might be my imagination. I was not alone in there... my twin sister was there, too!
-Since We're little, we find four leaf clovers, and five, etc. Every summer we still find like thirty. They jump to our sight! Anyone has a hint of what it means and what to do with them?
-As a child, I used to pray every night on my own initiative and secretly; thought about what would God think of this and that; wanted to do like Jesus; telling my parents that we can't remember what we were before we were born, because back then we didn't have a brain or the same brain than today; thinking that the colors we saw were only our physical eyes perception, and that there are many others; talking alone, because I felt observed and wanted to share with what observed me... feeling like a star who is spied and welcoming the spies to show up, etc.
-I always been different from others. I was miunderstood and verrryyy bullied!!! I would never defend myself, but get angry and this seemed a lot of fot for other kids lol. This is my path and I am glad who I am, and I love the little girl I was. I was just kind of clumsy with people, but with a very big heart. I now think it is because I came from a planet or star or dimension with a different language than the kids from my school... lol A language that aims on sharing information a lot. Still, I had a lot of defense mechanisms and fears with others...
-I had psychotherapy since I'm 14, until recently. It started because I was worried for others, I had anguish, anxiety and felt too different. I was always hungry for more discoveries about life. I saw many, many, therapists. I shopped a lot before I found the right one. A wonderful and spiritual woman who is inspired by Colette Portelance, author and international teacher. It's tragic how people don't shop their therapist. Younger, I was questionning my therapist as if he were God... hahaha... If I had knew how small he knew, I would have trusted my own self a lot more. I also tried to council at the age of 10 but it didn't work at this time, because the professionnal didn't know what do do with me! I felt abandonned by the therapist very often. Just mentionning...I'm not the victim profile anymore, I'm just explaining where I come from with a responsible attitude, grown up. Years gone by, I'm now more skilled with people, having more friends. I enjoy spending time with other crystal beings. I love my life!
Other wake ups:
-I read The Intuitive Way, from Penney Pierce at 21, it was a revelation. The exercises gave me a wider consciousness, spread my imagination out, eased and enhanced my passion for life..
-I discovered that ascension was possible in July 2009, with a book in a yard sale, 1$: The crystal Stair, a guide to ascension, from Eric Klein, ...1$! yeee! It was a dream come true to realize that this was possible.
Since then, I meditate twice a day and reoriented my carreer in yoga teaching, massage therapy and other skills I had developped since 16, such as astrology, but didn't use as an occupation. I don't know why I didn't orient myself in that field, I would have succeeded then. Life is life, and I'm coming in the direction I always dreamed of! Being a spiritual professional.
| | Interests |
Everything!
Priority: Ascension, meditation, yoga ( raja, kundalini, hatha, tryed bikram ), listen to other's spiritual path, eat healthy in order to overcome the symptoms, help and serve others, Reiki, Feng shui.
What I could call hobbies or useful tools to explore around: Travel, psychotherapy and psychoanalysis, Law of Attraction, how to talk with children, I make astrology charts,... And also, there is a paint vision taking place in my mind, that might take form soon! Using pendulum to observe chakras, and saying specific affirmations to replace momentaneously a chakra that is misplaced, in order to help locate a problem in one's life. Oracles and tarots are fun to explore, too. I also want to read more and more books!
DIET:
They are nothing we can't do, the first step is to learn more about these diets, and love ourself, accept it if you are not there yet. Keep eating normally, but pay attention to how you feel afterwards, and ask your body forgiveness for that, and forgive yourself. Because some habits of eating is adopted by the comsumation society, we just foolow a crowd that is led by people who don't care. We can stand up, get informed from sources that are reliable (and you know, it's not necessarily the government! Neither schools who are led by government! Once, I thought someone was crazy and paranoïd for thinking it. And now, I know she was right.) Don't just believe what anybody sais, just be open and think for yourself, see how you FEEL about certain information. So after getting informed, we then start paying more attention to what we put in our body, and start eating intelligently over time. Trusting our body to 'say' to us what it needs, looking at our desires and tastes. What makes it hard is the environment we live in. There are bad temptations, and bad informations everywhere! Seems like industries are only giving us bad food! There is a difference between apetite and true desire for a food. Apetite does not respond to your true body's needs but to a publicity or having someone making you think of it, when true desire comes from within. Then follow it, even if it's a need for sugar because it's your body that tells you he needs it. This diet may cost the same thing, it's just about finding the right food. Still, it's easy because most of the food needed is found in the grocery store... And if we are ready to pay more attention to what we eat, over time, we'll be more ready to spend time WITH our friendly food and prepare it. We can the learn sprouting, which is hyper nutritious, can cost only 1$ a day and makes one feel grounded. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-1V4vtV8Yo And if we want to go further, we can discover other good foods in natural food stores, and no it's not expensive when we count the amount of energy we gain. We do want to pay for our health, and personnally, I would never pay one cent for a coca cola, or a candy-chocolate bar considering that it costs me already a lot to consume in fact of health and energy. I would rather be paid to consume one, but still, no, not even be paid for it! My body is sacred, stop offering me to waste it and pay for it at the same time! I rather choose dark chocolate, which contains anti-oxydants and it does taste delicious because now my body is used to be offered good food, it appreciates it. He's not wanting bad things anymore. In the past, when I wanted to have any candy food, I ate it and saw by myself afterwards how I felt in my stomach and in my blood. Payed attention to my body. Loved it. I learned that my body is not well afterwards, and I started to pay more attention to what makes me feel positive, slowly. Now my body doesn't desire bad foods, it experienced enough.
-alkaline food diet..
I found this site:
http://www.thebestofrawfood.com/alkaline-foods.html
It's a magical world to discover!
Raw food diet
http://www.sproutman.com/pdf/WHY_RAW_FOOD.pdf
http://www.thebestofrawfood.com/raw-food-diet-plan.html
http://www.rawfoodfirst.com/begin.html
Sprouting:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-1V4vtV8Yo
http://www.ecohuddle.com/wiki/how-to-sprout-seeds-for-inexpensive-and-tasty-nutrition
We can sprout any seed, with the method in the link above. You just have to get nice looking seeds to make sure that they will germinate.
| | Recommended Reading |
Here are the books I trusted and inspired me the most. I listed them in order of most recently read first.
-The Pleiadian Workbook: Awakening Your Divine ka, Amorah Quan Yin... Started reading... So Exciting! Still, I need to work on something they said in the book... There is an obstacle to the ascension and I'd like to discuss it with people who already ascended, if possible. So now I'm going to search for someone on the Forum!
-Life and Teaching of the Masters of the Far East, form Baird T. Spalding, 1924... Wikipedia's description: "It describes the travels to India and Tibet of a research party of eleven scientists in 1894. During their trip they claim to have made contact with "the Great Masters of the Himalayas", immortal beings with whom they lived and studied, gaining a fascinating insight into their lives and spiritual message. This close contact enabled them to witness many of the spiritual principles evinced by these Great Masters translated into their everyday lives, which could be described as 'miracles'. Such examples are walking on water, or manifesting bread to feed the hungry party." Also: Ascension, eternity, different dimensions, they met Jesus and Pilate which are now best friends!, space travelling, music playing magically, light without fire or electricity, etc. It helps understand the Law of Attraction, and the way to become Cristal. This seems like a real story to me, with real events. The French translator worte a forehead that tells us he found the book one day and started a quest to find the author. He couldn't find him, but he translated it sooner anyways. He dreamt of finding the author, in order to ask him if what he wrote was true. One day, 30 years later, he heard a voice saying: "Now is the moment if you want to meet Baird T. Spalding, or you will never see him, this is your last chance. He is in America. You'll find him if you go now." He went because he had faith, and with a couple fortunate events, he found him and could ask him everything he wanted to know, also if everything he wrote was true. The author refused to say. He said "If you go in India, you'll find someone that responds to x name (don't remember the name), and you could figure out for yourself." The passionate and intrigued translator went, and met the person in question. He thinks it was one of the Masters, but with a different name. He recongnized who this was from the book, ('Jast') but never had any real proof if he was actually a Master. Still, he believes it is and the reader can imagine the story is true, because it is written as if it was true. There is extraordinary lessons and informations. As an example of way to percieve life differently, the Masters said that old is not spiritual, as we percieve it for the white long bearded wise men. The person who is really pure and divine will stay young forever. This is what Jesus came to tell us, but many misunderstood the message: He died on the cross for our sins and came back, Please God pitty us poor sinners? NO. We're not victims and Jesus is not only our savior, we are not incapable creatures. Instead, what would be more important to remember is that he wanted to show us that this is the actual way to live, he wanted us to do like him, have a Saint Life, and Ascend. Many people Ascended in the past after him, by using St-Germain's Violet Flame, for example, and they did it with real hard work. But now, it will be very easy for us, since the energy is there and Now is the Time.
-The Crystal Stair: a guide to the ascension, Eric Klein ...Channeled Messages from Sananda (Jesus), Ashtar, Archangel Michael, and St. Germain
-Listen to your best friend your body, Lise Bourbeau ... This book has been written in 1987, and it is still a huge success. In this book, I was impressed to see how complete and before her time the author's sight of spirituality was. Everything is in this book. If you have to read only one book, I would say this one, or The Intuitive Way from Penney Peirce.
-Power Vs. Force, David R. Hawkins ..Impressing because with this book, you can argue with a non-believer, it is a way one can connect spiritual and science.
-True Balance, Sonia Choquette (audiobook version)...talks in details about Chakras.
-Anatomy of the Spirit, Carolin Myss (audiobook version)... talks about the link between the seven sacrements and the seven Chakras, very interesting and it's a new way to understand the chakras, for those who want to go deeper!
-Earth, Pleiadian keys to the Living Library, Barbara Marciniak
-Reiki, Un Pont Entre Deux Mondes, (don't know if there is an english version) from Paulette Gagnon and Nathalie Lachance
-Helping Relationships Through Self-Love: A Creative Nondirective Approach to Psychotherapy and Education, Colette Portelance. This has been the book that accompained me through my therapy. My therapist suggested it to me, and we followed it together. In it, if I can try to translate from French to english and hope to be understood, we find details about: 'inner complexes' (such as guilt, inferiority, castration, exclusion, abandon, victim, savior, etc.), dysfunctionnal relationship dynamics (such as dominant/submitted, judge/guilty, superior/inferior, abandonned/deserted, missionnary/disciple, saviour/protected, victim/ executionner, etc) and defense mechanisms (such as repression, escape, confluence, auto-punishment, etc.) I also discovered three basic ways of using our intelligence: easthetic, pragmatic and rationnal, three different ways to learn which are all equal in value.
-Law of attraction, Michael Losier
-The different Drum: Community Making and Peace... I'm starving to live in a true community! When will it be? At least, this book gave me the recipe... A recipe that won't necessarily work, because it is also a question of grace and miracle, in other words you can't command it, but you can put the proper conditions for it to happen. By community, I mean a group of persons that totally fell in love all together, and are open to anyone who wants to join. That is what Jesus created around him. Well... I think I just joined a community here! I'd like you guys to be living all at the same village! Won't it be nice when paradise comes on Earth? Everyone will be open and sharing, authentic, compassionate, we will be able to make full consensus in any decision, everyone will aim to agree altogether, and work in that direction by openly listening to every voice, and thinking maturely and not egocentrically... Everyone will be the same kind... democracy will be an expired politic tool... That's about what's coming isn't it?
-The Intuitive Way, Penney Peirce... My favorite book ever!!!!! I say someone that reads it and does the exercices, and who is ready to jump in it will go through a lot of positive revelations transformations! It can make your life rocky a little bit when you open your eyes and start seeing life a different way, but it's just in order to replace it in a way you feel more aligned with your Higher Self. It's not directive at all, and in this book you discover yourself at your own pace. The book is filled with questions that you have to respond for yourself, so she does not tell you what to think at all. Makes life so passionating and easy... she makes us clean our sight and get rid of our blockages and complexes, and then develop tools like automatic writing, understanding of symbolism and dreams, contacting entities, a lot of meditation techniques with different goals like center yourself, finding what you truly want, etc.
-The Power of Now, (audiobook version) Eckhart Tolle
-The Road Less Traveled I, II, III, Scott Peck... inspiring, speaks about disciplin, love and grace.
-People of the Lie, Scott Peck... speaks about human badness and possession. It motivated me becoming 100% integrous and to opened my eyes that not everyone is loving around us, that we need protection. I needed to pray a lot when I read this, it's hard.
-Lessons in Love, Guy Corneau... When I was in a turmoil with guys! It's pretty psychoanalytic, it makes one discover possible patterns that lives inside our subconscious... makes realize stuff about love and relationships, loneliness, society, etc. I also read Mars and Venus, connecting with your soulmate from John Gray... It's inspiring, but very rigid to follow at first thought. It made me suffer from endoctrinement for a while... but then, I discovered that there is a lot of truths in it, and that when you're not hurt you naturaly follow it as a way to deal. Let's just not fake anything, but you can get from the book a certain inspiration on how to take care of yourself and still be open.
| | Personals |
| Status: | Single |
| Hometown: | Gatineau, Quebec, Canada |
| Star Sign: | Aries, rising sun in Aries, Moon and Mercury in Pisces, Venus in Aquarius |
| Occupation: | Daycare teacher in rest, future yoga teacher and massage therapist right now I'm a cleaning lady who serves others and gives them good energy, that's the essential. I find it so zen! I love to clean houses for people, they really appreciate me. |
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