Insomniac Poetry: Ego’s Confession

I wrote this a while back, posted it on my other blog. Was thinking about it tonight, and thought I’d repost it here too. [In a state of mind where I was in the middle of the static zone between darkness and light. Coming into grips with my past self-destructive behavior/]

Once upon a time,

For a long time,

I thought I was cool.

In reality, I was cruel

And a total fool For thinking not at all.

Became my ultimate downfall,

for ignoring my heart’s call

My ego never felt at all.

Wanting to be free I forgot how to see,

who was really me.

Judging & pushing,

hurting & gloryfying

my heart was wailing for my attention in another dimension.

I did not know, how to be my own friend.

For all i knew, was how to play pretend

In this world I desperately tried to end.

Playing with people’s emotions

and comotions was my absolute devotion.

Not knowing my wrath,

Along the path,

walked the hardest thing to let go:My ego.

Alliances torn,

Plus hearts scorn -

Walks the vicious ego I am with,

its unlimitied wit of destruction and of obstruction.

I try to salvage my heart’s reconstruction.

Ego is all male energy,

My mind’s lethargy.

Why was I spared?

Even though I got hearts teared,

Why wasn’t I prepared?

for my actions have me snared scared.

We all pay the price for not being so nice,

while being high on vice.

And now it is time,

to melt the ice -to make me all nice.

Now that I re-read it again, it was a confrontation between my lower self [shadow/ or ego] confessing to Higher Self. It was a scary moment in my spiritual development, Wording it out helped ease the fears and shed the healing tears.  My advice: think twice before doing something stupid... and its not the end of the world once u've fucked up. I would know, got so many second, third and fourth chances in life. You think they would cut me off the manna of life [lol] Live and learn, that's why we are here on this earth for. To Learn, and to share what lessons you learned along the way...

We all have to work at it together - coz no one else will do the hard labour for you. Its a fantastic journey, living and sharing this lifetime collectively. This point in time is a very important for humanity. I know some of us are exhausted... We still gotta keep our thoughts on a high note in the meantime. Just keep on spreading the energy of peace where its needed the most. Love is all we need. [also lots of laughter.. its good for the soul too!]

Love yourselves unconditionally, it lets you shine more light into the world. While we're on this planet, incarnated as people... along with this package we get the Ego. So its up to y-all to tame the beasts within.

GTG, need my rest/ Much Luv & Light!