I'm So Tired Of Running

I'm so tired of running,
of chasing shadows,
or, like being caught up in a dream,
of getting chased by one
fragment of my brain!

I'm so tired of running,
of being intimidated by that great spook called satan,
who would huff and buff and blow my house in
if I didn't gratify his desire...
the lust to have his own way even at the expense of another.

I speak now of my own ego, the other,
the split in my consciousness, as in another,
who is the only enemy I'll ever know--
even as I deny my nonself to make it so.

Still, with a little knowledge,
I may confront this ego-satan in my own family,
community, country and the world at large;
but in the end it always comes back to me,
to my own personality, psyche, soul,
duality and sensory perception...
back to the literal perspective, the ego,
and its fundamental interpretation.

Yes, back to the one I know--yet the one I constantly
try to escape from having any direct knowledge of--
as this would, for a certainty,
nail that very sense of self
to the cross of my own consciousness.

In the end, then, I can't escape the other,
my own karma and pattern of behavior;
for what goes around comes around,
till finally confronted and transformed,
I see thru the very concept of me and mine.

Indeed, this moment appears to be all there is,
but in diminishing the sense of time
rests moment's Eternity, that is,
if I psychologically die to this partial me--
to that which ever seeks to flee the cross.

I'm so tired of running,
so very tired of chasing shadows...
and getting chased by that great spook called satan.

Let him blow my house in!
Like the samurai said in old Japan,
"A man's fate is a man's fate, life is an illusion".

Indeed, this illusion appears to be all there is,
but in diminishing the illusion lies moment's Eternity--
the Sole Reflector and Wholeness of humanity--
who waits for His temporal reflections to finally acknowledge
their Intuself, and by seeing thru the world at large,
stop running from, and being intimidated by,
anyone or anything outside the Whole.

O my God,
Now everything seems so very Still;
and the Stillness Is me...
I'm not running anymore!