Tired of this 3D...

So I go to Art School, day in and day out we critique each other's work and I'm ten years older than most of the students. Needless to say there is a bit of a generation gap, but it makes me reflect on the fact that I've rarely been able to connect with people. In any interaction I've had with the 3D reality, it's been akward. Wether it's my martial arts friends or my "art" friends, I've never been able to cross that barrier of familiarity. I tell myself I wrote this script over 30 years ago for a reason, but I'm at a loss for why. For twenty years (the first ten were decent) I've trugded through this miserable existence, with my abilities and awareness only appearing in the last year or so (at least those that I was able to finally acknowledge). Though I always had that nudge in the back of my head that I was destined for greater things and to "just keep going, things will get better". I've gotten better, my time in the national guard after 9/11 I was diagnosed with PTSD. To clear things up I didn't go to Iraq, but I was injured in bootcamp, trying to complete combat training (if you were there a week after 9/11, you'd understand). Yeah I was hoping to be one of Bush's lil' soldiers in 2001. But I digress, the past six years have been nothing, but depression, addiction, and divorce. I'm finally in a place where I can attend psychic development classes, practice Jeet Kune Do, and do the art (somewhat) that I want. Still I drink, still I dwell on the past, still I question my purpose. I'm sooooooooo tired, I've been told I lived in Atlantis, and I feel all those thousands of years on my shoulders. I know that most of you feel the same, I just need to vent, no one gets this! No one really understands, they just nod and pat me on the head because I carry rocks in my pocket. I'm thankful for this site, which has brought me much knowledge and joy. Although, I don't say much, I am grateful for all of your contributions.

Peace

Josh