Serve God? Let Him Get His Own Dinner!

What I write here is really for my own benefit. Working out some kinks in the emotional and mental consciousness and what this all means to me. It is also for the bennefit of those reading that have similar issues. Please take what resonates as truth for you and leave the rest with an open heart and a sense of humor. What I believe today, may be vastly different than what I believe tomorrow. :)

I have some issues with certain words and phrases, as they are used in spiritual/religious context. They may even possibly hold me back in my assension process, I don't know. Probably the biggest issues are with those below.

Surrender To God's Will
Serve God

I wonder whether this has been preventing me from appreciating some of the spiritual materials I have tried to read over the years. When I come to these, in something written or spoken, something inside me says "NO! THIS IS ALL WRONG!"

Please note that this was not something that I was taught in this lifetime, it is something that I came in with.

The phrase:Surrender To God's Will
You see, the word surrender implies some kind of battle and a loss, to me. Not very optimistic. Here I am, going to give up something and I will be a loser because of it. How can that be a good thing?

From the dictionary:
sur·ren·der 
1. to yield (something) to the possession or power of another; deliver up possession of on demand or under duress: to surrender the fort to the enemy; to surrender the stolen goods to the police. 
2. to give (oneself) up, as to the police. 
3. to give (oneself) up to some influence, course, emotion, etc.: He surrendered himself to a life of hardship. 
4. to give up, abandon, or relinquish (comfort, hope, etc.). 
5. to yield or resign (an office, privilege, etc.) in favor of another. 
–verb (used without object) 6. to give oneself up, as into the power of another; submit or yield. 
–noun 7. the act or an instance of surrendering.

My Version
Surrender = To Give Up Power

Now God, implies masculine king, to me. Ruler of the Universe, sitting up there in his marble chair, looking down upon us saying "who can I mess with today". Someone to be very afraid of.
This is NOT what I define God to be, today, but what has been conditioned into me in past life experience and through ancestral DNA.

So, to me, the phrase:
Surrender To God's Will = Give up your power to a man ruler, who is dangerous, vengeful, unpredictable and is just as likely to strike you down with lightning, as send you rain for your crops, lol.

Onto the next phrase: Serve God

The word serve is defined as:
Main Entry: 1serve 
Pronunciation: \ˈsərv\
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): served; serv·ing
Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French servir, from Latin servire to be a slave, serve, from servus slave, servant
Date: 13th century

So, to me:
Serve God = Be a slave to a man ruler, who is dangerous, vengeful, and unpredictable, and who chooses who lives and dies on a whim.
Serve God = LOSE YOUR POWER

I actually had issues of slavery as a child in this life, and I am sure in many others. I will not be a slave any longer, for any reason.

So, what to do? There are lots of great works out there, that I have never read. Lots of prayers that I don't feel comfortable using, because they imply losing your power. So many phrases that imply that you must follow blindly.

There is a scene in the movie "Waking Ned Devine", that I just love and I will paraphrase here.

The movie is set in Ireland and 10 year old Morris is talking to the young priest about his calling.

"So, were you called to work for Jesus, Father"?

"Oh yes, Morris".

"Have you ever met Him, Father"?

"No Morris".

"Does He pay well, Father"?

"Well now, Morris, it is payment, of a more 'spiritual' kind".

"Ohhh, I seeeee, Father".

"Do you think that you could ever be called to work for Him, Morris"?

"Well, now, Father.... I don't think, I could go to work for a man I never met, and never get paid for it....."

And I said, yeah Buddy, when I saw that. What a kid! Always use discernment.

Now back to my phrases.
Try substituting the word release, for surrender.
Allowing, rather than giving up, or losing. Sound better, more empowering? 

And substitute the words "Divine Guidance" or "Divine Intelligence" for God. Since Divine Guidance comes from within, from a part of ME/my spirit, then, I am not giving up to some foreign king, but to myself, the highest part of myself. Does that sound more empowering?

Then, instead of "serving God", try ALLOWING Divine Guidance to flow THROUGH me, as it does in Reiki healing.
Or better yet, try KNOWING that I AM God/Goddess and ALLOWING that part of me to run the show. Does that sound more empowering?

Making changes in the words I choose to use, provides for a win/win, in my book, for those like me who have had a very hard time with religions, breaking free of their hold, and feeling disempowered by it all.

So, when I read something now, I look at whether the teaching/prayer could be useful to me, if I changed a few words, before discarding. I am finding many more of value to me, just by doing this.

In addition, I am now looking at the negative energies I attach to these phrases and releasing its power over me. Its been there too long and it has been hindering my growth for many years. After all, things only have the power over you that YOU ALLOW.

For those reading that have had these issues, themselves, I am curious how you dealt with it, or whether this brings new ideas to the fore.

Please don't burn me at the stake. :)

Love and Peace,
Erin