Endings and new beginnings

Good morning! It has been a miraculous 3 days to say the least..many endings as I move through the changes that are happening to me, leaving behind friends who no longer serve to push me to the next realm as it were. Ironically, I am not too sad about it, as I had a conversation with my oldest friend yesterday and she pointed out that I was holding on to "grasshopper" and that in and of itself was keeping me from truly getting what I do want in life. Yes, that grasshopper, the one I love with all my heart, who can't seem to get past his own insecurities to make a life with me, the one that tore out of my house with "flames" (lol) coming off the bottom of his shoes. He waffles, flirts and then holds back, continuously - and has for over 2 years now. I have finally released him from my being. Always wishing him well and reiterating to him that I do and always have deeply loved him. Hard to believe, but I am not sad about it. Just content. Also, ironically for me, I haven't been holding on to anything as of late... habits, fears, nothing.

I took the day off to work on my rug, read and clean the front yard up... the flowers are slowly peeking up through the ground, the birds are singing and all is good. I went to a fabulous bead and fabric shop yesterday and brought home all sorts of great beads and stones to make jewelry with and am looking forward to creating some new pieces. We'll see where that goes.

I haven't journaled in some time, not really sure why and not even sure if I want to do it online or in my normal notebook, but decided this morning to do it here. I look around me and feel the love everywhere, lighter, and lighted from within. It is indeed a beautiful thing. I am thankful for where I stand today, strong, loved and alive, vibrantly alive. I know in this moment, I can do whatever I want and have whatever I need to be fulfilled and happy. Harmoniously happy. I want to thank all of you for your contributions, your thoughts, your feelings which you express so freely here. It is truly blessing to have found this site, all of these fabulous people, some of whom I feel I know even though I have never met any of you. Knowing that you are here is a great comfort - that even though there are not many "enlightened" people around me, I can find you here. Helping me to have gotten to this place without feeling like I was indeed losing my mind, or crazy at all of the happennings around me. The instant thoughts, the things that have come to me in my life and thinking, "surely that was an anomoly. this can't happen again" and finding that it does happen over and over. Putting something out to the universe and having it happen right before my eyes. Absolutely amazing!

Understanding indeed, that I do feel what other people are feeling, and finally putting it into words, so that I can understand it.. (thank you Laurence!) (sp) I have gone through my entire life up to this point, thinking I was losing it, when I would feel things people around me were feeling and then doubting it. I finally have control over letting it affect my day to day lifetaking in others bad moods and fears and holding them as my own reality. Not really understanding why. Anyhow. enough babbling for the morning. Love to all of you! Karen