Dreams and thoughts

Good morning.. So, I had many weird dreams last night, the one that sticks out the most was me plucking hair off my face, almost being obsessed about it and at one point, plucking an entire patch off my neck, which I didn't even know was there. When I would pluck a hair, say off my eyebrow and then look again, I would find yet another one I had missed before.

So, anyhow... which brings me to my next thought, one that has pervaded my mind for the last year... one which the inner voice keeps telling me to quit smoking, quit drinking and start exercising...to which I have completely ignored. Let me clarify by saying, I had quit smoking for 10 years and then started back up a couple of years ago, and no, the drinking is not something that interferes with my responsibilities, I enjoy a couple of beers or wine with the process of cooking dinner, entertaining etc... Yes, I know it is the right thing to do, but for some reason, almost obsessively, I keep holding on to the old, not wanting to let go. So, dear friends, as I read the blog yesterday about healing the inner child, I am searching for answers. Bold in your face responses from all of you enlightened folks, to try and determine, once and for all, why I con't to insist on holding on to these thoughts and actions which clearly don't serve me. Does it mean that I don't truly love myself? I don't know. And, while I am at it, picking... picking at my fingers, my scalp, anything that is not smooth. I really feel like if I can get to the bottom of this, I can figure out many things that I have been searching to the answers for for many years. I do tend to be obsessive/compulsive, but no particularly ADD, so I am not really sure where all of this has come from and what it means... I know, pretty wierd, but I am trhowing this out there in the knowledge that someone will have answers or at least guide me on this journey, so I can head off in the correct direction, instead of over thinking it for hte next 30 years, LOL! Thanks and love, Karen